Angels in our midst?

Do you believe in angels?
Do you think they are among us? Protecting us and covering us from harm and danger?
I can say that I'm in between because i never really encountered a real life experience..
I know there ARE angels among us because I trust that they protect us and keep us safe. We usually call them our Guardian Angels.
Even though I've never met mine before but I'm very thankful because by just knowing my angel is with me I feel much safer. Angels are sent by God to protect us. Cool isn't it? It's like having your very own personal bodyguard.
Lately, I've been thinking about angels again. I don't know why but there's was this incident that happened years ago when i was still quite young but i have a good memory to remember clearly what happened. I didn't know much about angels then but i think i might just had witnessed something that i will never forget as long as i live.
The story began like this:
My sisters were both in the bathroom bathing, since they were still small my parents didn't allow them to lock the door in case they couldn't open it later. So the door was slightly opened. Inside the bathroom there was this mini sink where you could wash your face from. It was old and shaky. My parents did everything they could to keep it steady so that it will not fall off.
As they were having fun splashing water everywhere, i was walking pass the bathroom, suddenly I saw a hand holding on to the sink. Then, BANG!!!
The sink fell and crashed! We all had the shock of our lives! Quickly my parents rushed to the bathroom and asked if my sisters were alright. After getting them out of there safely, a thorough body checkup was being done. Not a single scratch was to be found. Was it possible? The sink was made of porcelain. It was broken into a million pieces, and they weren't hurt at all.
I told my parents that i saw a hand holding the sink, could it be one of them pulled at the sink, that's why it fell off?
But like i said, i was young and no one trusted me. And both my sisters said they weren't anywhere near the sink.
Soon the incident was forgotten. A few years passed then suddenly i just had this thought.
I asked my sisters again and still they had the same answer. So i decided to think back, back where i SAW the hand holding on to the sink.
I realised something, my sisters' hands were small, so it was impossible for their hand to be so big, like the hand i SAW holding on to the sink. The hand was definitely a woman's hand, slender.
I decided to keep quiet about it until i can't stand it anymore. So i brought up the topic to  my mom. She was amazed and told me that it must have been a guardian angel protecting them.
So, all this while i got it wrong, i thought the hand belonged to one of my sisters but actually it wasn't!
I don't know if i consider myself lucky seeing an angel's hand. But God is great and He protected my sisters from getting injured.


Another story just happened last year...
I was on holidays and was spending time at home. It was a windy afternoon. I decided to pick out the dry clothes and fold it. Just then, i saw my dad coming down from the stairs, he was quiet, which seemed unusual to me. So, out of curiosity, i guess, i followed him until the kitchen, but the thing was, when i arrived. there was no one there.
Suddenly, i called out to him and the reply came from the living room, in front! I went back and saw that he was wearing a grey shirt. Funny, because earlier, i saw him wearing an orange-stripe shirt.
I told my dad about it and he shook it off easily ( I didn't tell him about the shirt colour), but i just can't. I thought about it for a long time. Around 5pm, he got ready to go to the park. After changing his clothes, he came down. And this time I got the shock of my life. He was wearing an orange-striped shirt!
Could it be, that i saw my father's guardian angel????
Well, something to ponder about...

Who really knows you

In this whole world, there's only One that knows you in and out, and that is the God Almighty, because He made you.
It's funny how people always think they know you but actually they don't know ANYTHING.

Outside, we can look happy and like there's no worries at all, nothing can ever harm us or no burden is ever too heavy. But have they take a look at what's INSIDE our heart? No. Because they don't have laser eyes or supernatural powers to hear our deepest inner thoughts.

Only God knows. At first I thought, "come on, someone must have gone through what i'm going through now". So i started sharing my feelings and hurt with others, but what did I get in return? More hurt. Nobody really understands us. The most frustrating part is they act ALL KNOWING and pretend to know us.
Urgh, hate it when they are like that.

It helps to know that the Lord knows who we really are.
I'm grateful because at least now i know there's someone who really cares and knows what I'm going through, now some dumbo who thinks he knows everything but actually NOTHING!!

Well, enough with the frustration, I just wanted to share some verses from the BIBLE proving that our God is an ALL KNOWING GOD:

1 John 3:19-20

By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything.

And also HE knows when we hurt inside,

You know how troubled I am; you have kept a record of my 

tears.

 Psalm 56:6 (Good News) 

He even recorded our tears! How cool is that? :-)

Trust, does it really exist?

Oh well, so much for being a new year, there's so much stress already..
I'm currently in my final degree year. There are only 2 subjects but i feel like dying already.
I'm doing action research and i can feel my head almost wanting to explode. :(
I LOVE research.. for fun, but i never thought the real one would be so difficult.
I couldn't sleep and eat well just thinking of the two words: action research...

Anyway,since it's the weekend i decided to give it a rest and cut some slack..
This girl needs a serious break!! >.<

It's been a while since I've thought about this word: Trust

I used to trust people, I used to, but that was all back in those good old days where people dont stab you at the back and use you for their convenience.
Now, i don't even dare to say that word out loud.
I wonder if it even exist anymore.
A few days back i started thinking of that fateful day when someone i was so close to abandoned me, took my for granted. How can i ever put my trust in that person anymore? I believe that was the breaking point for me. Since then, I just simply didn't trust in anyone anymore. I just go on with my life but deep down only God knows how hurt i was, and still am.

I searched the internet for the meaning of this word and it came out like this:

firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

I have been troubled since, so I started reading my faithful book called " Psalms to soothe a woman's heart"
I don't know why but i always feel that when i'm in trouble the book really helps me a lot! It's like magic you know. 
For example, when i'm facing this particular problem, i would just randomly flip to a page. But the amazing thing was the psalm and prayer was exactly what i needed. 

I take it that the Lord works in wonderful and mysterious ways. I don't know what else to think. Well, it's your opinion to judge.. 
Anyway, now my problem is with trust, so here is what i got and i want to share it:

"God guards you from every evil, he guards your very life. He guards you when you leave and when you return, he guards you now, he guards you always." -Psalm 121:7-8 MSG

Prayer: God, you know how difficult and upsetting my situation is. Help me to trust you in and through this. Nothing is impossible for you, and so my heart will rest in your care. Amen

I'm no saint and I can frankly say I could and perhaps am one of the worst sinners in the world. But in my sinful heart, there's this hope that prays for God's mercy to forgive me and that i will be the person he wants me to be.

Belated new year 2014

Happy new year!!! Since its still not yet February so i guess wishing happy new year is still valid ..
2013 was a fun and challenging year.
During the holidays was the most fun part because i get to do the things that i like most, my knitting and crocheting!!!

Below are some pictures of items which i have made.

(My own handmade crocheted pencil case, new year NEW things!!) :D 

(The three little pigs) 

(The little duckling with its puckered mouth) 

(The cute little mouse)

(This is my own pattern, Tigger, which i made for my sister since she requested it, like years ago and only during THIS holiday i had the time to make it for her, just in time for christmas, hence her Christmas gift)

(Miniature hello kitty, for my cousin which is a Hello Kitty maniac fan) hehe

(Rilakuma for my cousin who also happens to like this bear) 

(A sleeping sheep, it was supposed to be a gift to my dad but he said it look too MILD, so I made a goat for him instead, which is his zodiac) 

(This is a pouch that i sold) 

(another pouch in the shape of a duck) 

(This is my family, all the items which i have crocheted all this while, some were not in the picture because my mom already wrapped it, ready to give away) 

( This is the little goat for my dad) ^-^

I also celebrated Christmas at my dad's village in Serian. It was really fun because i got to meet all my cute nephews. It was as if yesterday they were just babies, but look at how big they are now. I guess I just didn't realise i was getting older as well.. Life is short and in no time all of them would be grown up and I'll be an old lady..

Life can be fulfilling, if you let it

Now's the year end holidays and I'm spending most of my time at home, helping with the house chores.
I've never felt so happy in my life before.
It seems the older i get the more sentimental i become. I feel so blessed to have a home to go to and my family is always with me.
I'm grateful for the little things i have, i don't come from a rich family but we are happy with what we have and we can still live.
Studying away from home taught me to love my loved ones more because i may not be able to see them often.
Now, my schedule in the morning will be sweeping and mopping, then i will prepare lunch.
In the afternoon, i will do crocheting and knitting, which is my hobbies.
At night, after dinner, i will read my favourite books, which i think will take me long time to finish as there are tonnes of them! I bought them at this second-hand bookstore and i was so happy because i really got a lot at a very reasonable price!!

(What i would do when i have nothing else to do) relax, loving the holidays

(Sometimes, i even read in bed, it's the best feeling ever because once you're tired you can sleep right away!!)

(Sometimes at night when i can't sleep, i would just be like this girl, sitting and looking outside my room's window, wondering about my what-if questions and looking at the stars in the sky, and if im lucky i could sometimes see the moon too, and it's light shining right into my room, if only i can follow the light, what an adventure it would be!!) 

I recently found out that life is too short, if i always spend it on revenges, then  my life will be hollow because all i feel is hatred, i want to feel love, be loved and explore the world before it's all too late) 

Good night and God bless!!! :)

I'd stick to my books

Life is never easy.. Everytime you see a green pasture, it's just a banner or a billboard.. It's fake..
Life's not a bed of roses, "thorny" roses, maybe.. not if you have a smooth sailing life, then something is wrong. Well, maybe you are an optimistic person..

I'd rather stick to my books, my own world..
In my own world, no one is able to hurt me and I'm the person that makes all the decisions.. No one can harm me or stab me, because it's MY world, MY story..

In the real world, people change too fast.. It's scary, in just a blink of an eye, everything can change.. Nothing is permanent.
I don't put much hope in the real world.. It's broken and sick..
I only put my hope in the One that created me..
I've once put my complete trust in people, but they took it for granted, they threw me aside and isolated me..
But God is great.. I survived after almost 4 and a half years.. One more year to go and I'm out of this place..
But I am grateful because this place has taught me lots of things..
People cannot be trusted and those closest to you will be the person that is going to hurt you the most.
I was stupid and still am..
I now am grateful that I am alone because in this way I won't get hurt..
However, there are some who treated me well, I am grateful for them, but that's that, I can't let anyone into my heart anymore.. I've been through too much, the scars in my heart aren't fully healed and I doubt it will recover fully..
I am also grateful for my family, though sometimes even they can't understand me.. I must stand on my own and I am MOST grateful as the Lord is always by my side when i am at my weakest point.
For that, I can't thank God enough, I know until the day I die I won't be able to repay all the kindness and mercy that He had showered over my life...

This is how I feel when everything just seems to go wrong, even the weather is crying with me :'( 

A game called tug of war

Life is like that..
Survival of the fittest~~
I guess I'm on the weak side of the rope..
And people just don't care these days, they don't care if you are alive or dead..
I just sincerely hope all this will end soon..
To anyone who is feeling down and think that the world is suffocating them:

A Prayer for God’s Protection

71 I run to you, Lord,
for protection.
    Don’t disappoint me.
2 You do what is right,
    so come to my rescue.
    Listen to my prayer
    and keep me safe.
3 Be my mighty rock,[a]
    the place
where I can always run
    for protection.
Save me by your command!
    You are my mighty rock
    and my fortress.

4 Come and save me, Lord God,
    from vicious and cruel
    and brutal enemies!
5 I depend on you,
    and I have trusted you
    since I was young.
6 I have relied on you[b]
    from the day I was born.
You brought me safely
through birth,
    and I always praise you.

7 Many people think of me
    as something evil.
But you are my mighty protector,
8     and I praise and honor you
    all day long.
9 Don’t throw me aside
    when I am old;
    don’t desert me
    when my strength is gone.
10 My enemies are plotting
    because they want me dead.
11 They say, “Now we’ll catch you!
    God has deserted you,
    and no one can save you.”
12 Come closer, God!
    Please hurry and help.
13 Embarrass and destroy
    all who want me dead;
    disgrace and confuse
    all who want to hurt me.
14 I will never give up hope
    or stop praising you.
15 All day long I will tell
the wonderful things you do
    to save your people.
But you have done much more
    than I could possibly know.
16 I will praise you, Lord God,
    for your mighty deeds
    and your power to save.

17 You have taught me
    since I was a child,
    and I never stop telling about
    your marvelous deeds.
18 Don’t leave me when I am old
    and my hair turns gray.
    Let me tell future generations
    about your mighty power.
19 Your deeds of kindness
are known in the heavens.
    No one is like you!

20 You made me suffer a lot,
    but you will bring me
back from this deep pit
    and give me new life.
21 You will make me truly great
    and take my sorrow away.

22 I will praise you, God,
the Holy One of Israel.
    You are faithful.
    I will play the harp
    and sing your praises.
23 You have rescued me!
    I will celebrate and shout,
    singing praises to you
    with all my heart.
24 All day long I will announce
    your power to save.
I will tell how you disgraced
and disappointed
    those who wanted to hurt me.

Instead, think of it as a new day and ask the Lord for renewal of strength and take one task at a time.. :)

I know it's hard, you feel like dying, giving up, crying and breaking down.. I've been through all of that and hye, I'm still typing.. Even though it is difficult to believe when i say that "God will not give us what we cannot handle".. But i'm starting to believe it... 

Still being alive and healthy is the best miracle the Lord can ever give me.. 

God bless and smile :)