Mid-term holidays: Part 2

One month passes by swiftly. This is the final week before I go back to school, again.
Well, I need to shake off this feeling and be happy that I still got a job.
This holiday has taught me a lot.
I improved on my baking skills and I learnt to be grateful for the things I have and appreciate people I love and care about. Life is really too short to hate. I still dislike some people but I have made it a point to love my loved ones harder.
I don't want to regret anything when they are gone later. There is just so much to do but so little time. Time that I used to hate people should really stop. Easier said than done. But I will do my best.
Here are some updates on what I did: 😄

(Making pizza 😄)

(My first father's day cake, my first success. Not as soft as the cake sold in stores and the cream still needs improvement, but overall I was happy and it was yummy too)

(The chocolate cake before decorating it)

(Known as Biskut sarang semut, so difficult to make due to its delicate process, the dough is easy to make but the process is gruesome and i had cuts on my fingers, wrong technique maybe but the result was worth it)

(Went out for yummy dessert)

(Done making the dough and putting it in the paper cup)

It was a great holiday for me. I have improved so much since the last time I baked. 😄😄

Mid-term holidays: Part One

This is the longest holiday and I really ran out of ideas of what to do ...
Here are some pictures of what I did for the past two weeks...

(A dessert known as "dadih", like pudding but it's not, nice when put in the fridge) 

(A shopping mall just opened and the food there was heavenly!! Managed to grab some japanese food) 

(Takoyaki 😋)

(Started to knit again, I'm really not sure what to make, cushion cover or a sweater?) 

(Muffins, which really didnt look like the display picture!!) 

(Bread, after failures upon failures, I FINALLY MADE IT!!)

(SO SOFT and the texture is just right. A huge achivement for me) 🙄 

Part Two coming soon... 😃

His love is real

Went to church today and the reading was about Gos's love.
Just what I needed to hear.
How Jesus asked us to love each other as He has loved us.
We did not choose Him, He chose us. This is something I need to remember now more than ever.
The song that caught my attention the most was "Think about his love" and below is the lyric: just wanted to share how captivating and heartwarming the song is.

Think About His Love

This song is by Don Moen and appears on the Compilation WoW Worship Green (2001).

Think about His love
Think about His goodness
Think about His grace
That's brought us through
For as high as the heavens above
So great is the measure
Of our Father's love

Great is the measure
Of our Father's love
So great is the measure
Of our Father's love

How could I forget His love
And how could I forget His mercy
He satisfies 
Satisfies
He satisfies
Satisfies
He satisfies my desires

Think about His love
Think about His goodness
Think about His grace
That's brought us through
For as high as the heavens above
So great is the measure
Of our Father's love

Great is the measure
Of our Father's love

Written by:

Walt Harrah  God's love is so great. Beyond great. Matthew 6:33  New Living Translation Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.  Slowly but surely I am letting go of my desire and focusing on Him only. 😀😀  Happy blessed Sunday.

When it gets too tiring

When life gets  too tiring, learn to slow down and relax. Do something that could help you relax.
For me, it is through reading verses from the bible.
And hobbies such as reading and crafting.
Now I have a new place, the library.
Sometimes, we need time to recuperate.

I like to think of nothing at times.
To just let everything go for a while, and move into my safe haven.

Then, I would get up again and start my journey.
Life is filled with so many unpredictable things, we cannot predict everything. So that is why we get tired.
Tired of trying to make everyone happy, but at the end of the day, does anyone care about your feelings?
If no, then you are trying too hard.
Let go and let God handle it.
We are humans, we are not meant to please people.
We are created to please and praise God.

Everything in this life leads to one realisation, the realisation that God is the only One that can fulfill us.
He is the One to go to when we feel tired and hopeless.

I rememberer a saying,
"Life doesn't give us a purpose, we give life a purpose".
It is true. When I started to think like that, everything became clear.
Nothing can harm us if we did not allow it in the first place.
Of course, we cannot avoid deaths and sickness, but the mind plays an important role in how we decide to react to the current situation.
Do we let Life ruin us? Or we give life a new purpose, which is to be happy and grateful for the many blessings that God had given throughout our life?
I have learnt it the hard way.
It took me a long while before I started counting my blessings. All I could think of were the bad things that happened to me. I ignored the blessings and blame Him for giving me a lousy life.
But now, I realised the "bad things" were a blessing in disguise.
Instead of complaining, now I decided to do my best and let the talent that God gave me be put into good use.
Instead of asking "why this happened to me?", now I throw Life a purpose, "I will do my best in my workplace and learn instead of complaining".
My journey is still long so I always need to remind myself that when life gets tiring, I should look back at my past to see how far I have gone and it would be too bad to give up now.

The blue umbrella

I was walking at Kaison in Kuching the other day, when I saw this huge poster.
Immediately I remembered the story.
It was a short clip but it was so sweet.
The mixed emotions of happiness, sadness and frustration were all included.
The title was "the blue umbrella".
About a blue umbrella in search for his " love".
I am suddenly reminded about timing, again.
It's been a long wait.
But I guess seeing this picture gave me hope.
That one day, like the blue umbrella, we will meet.
And even though we would face many hardships ans tribulations, we would always somehow find our way back to each other.

Sandwich time!!!

Just looking through old posts and found these wonderful pictures.
Back in early Jan 2018.
(Currently teaching English Year 5 and there was a topic about making sandwich)
So I thought, why not?
I bought the ingredients and asked them to make it themselves.
They certainly loved it, but the taste of the egg mix was not quite there yet. 😅

(Peeling the egg shells)

Waiting for their turn to make their very own egg sandwich)

(My own egg sandwich) 😁

Teaching is fun when we do things outside of the normal lessons.

They still remember it to this very day and asked for more. But I told them we just have to wait for a perfect opportunity because this is now the Sports and carnival seasons. 

More activities like this soon. 😁😁

Throwback 2017: KL trip

It was last year that I went on a trip to KL and I really saved a lot of money thanks to the public transports.
I did some research before going there and I am really grateful that I could go to all those places and of course, come back in one piece.

All these are a blessing from God. I dont know when I am going to have the chance to go there again so I am grateful for this trip. Next trip would be a better one!! 

Solo trip can be difficult, especially when taking pictures, but with the help of good people and selfie stick, I think I can survive) 😊 

While waiting

Waiting...
What are we waiting for?
A better tomorrow?
A future spouse?
A promotion?
An unfulfilled promise?

Whatever it is, I think the best we can do while waiting is to pray.
There is nothing to lose.
Whisper a simple prayer.
God is always listening.

For me, waiting has its good and bad times.
Good is when I feel closer to God because while waiting I spend a lot of my time talking to Him, discussing my future and asking for constant guidance.

The bad is when the wait could sometimes take a toll on me and I feel abandoned and all is hopeless.
When is this wait going to end?

Until now I am still waiting.
Waiting for so many things.
But like they say, keep it to yourself.
Don't tell others because most probably it would not happen.
It has been a long wait but I have nothing to lose but to keep on waiting.
It is the process of waiting that made me grow up, the hard way mostly.
However, I decide to think on the bright side, despite it all I still survived, so I should be thankful because through numerous falls, I got up, once again, and I became much stronger and wiser.

People come and go.
It is also during this waiting period especially, that we really see them for who they are.
Some are encouraging and would pray for your happiness, while some would pretend to comfort you, but secretly they wish that you will NEVER get what you prayed for and some even wish you would be destoyed because their jealousy of you is too deep beyond comprehension.
These types can be easily detected through their attitudes and words that constantly bring you down, making you think that you are never good enough and you would never get your hapiness.
I've come across all three types of people. But they are just a passing trial. It will pass, so we have to be strong
Even though our wait will eventually end, let us never forget the One that has been and always will be with us.

When it gets too hard to bear the waiting period, tell God. Let Him calm you.
I did the same and I'm still doing it. I would read verses to comfort my heart, when all seems hopeless and I feel I am waiting for something that would never come.
And I would get up again and resume my journey.
The wait is never easy. But once we reach our destination, it will be worth it (I am always counting om this promise when I feel down)
So, what would you do while waiting today?

Be happy, and you will be

It has really been a while since I have last posted anything.
Many things have happened along my life's journey.
Anyway, through it all, I am still alive and for that I am grateful.
Some of the things I want to share is that,
"At the moment where we feel everything is too overwhelming, stop for a while. Breathe deeply and think. Is all this worth it? That you should sacrifice your happiness for others?
They don't even care about you.
So, stop. In every matter, no matter what you are going through, there is always a choice,
To be BITTER or BETTER...
Now I always ask myself before I decide whether to let my thoughts influence my decisions.
When I decided to be happy, I am.
I just think that they did what they did because it is in their nature. You can't control how people treat you, but you can definitely control how YOU decide to react to that situation.
At work, I am always given extra workload with reasons such as I am a trustworthy person and the others can't be trusted.
Let's just say it is because you are too hardworking for your own good, well, what's wrong? If you are happy, then just accept it. Take it as you are learning something new. Or else, you would just sulk and be moody. But, if I am really too busy, I also learnt how to SAY NO!!
We always have a choice.
It is something we need to remember, especially in times of hardship and sadness.
Chooose happiness and nothing the devil do can make you fall.
Choose to be bitter and blame God and the devil scores a point.
I have had so many lessons throughout the years and it really makes me think a lot more before I decide to do something.
I am still learning. I still get mad. I still complain. But now I know it is all within me.
We all have a choice.
So, what choice would you make today?

Note to self: Please be nicer to yourself

It's the holidays again and my, my, to think I could have one whole week to myself so that I can rest and do anything I want after the UPSR exams. But alas, I find myself doing work AGAIN, even after I told myself not to. But I had to, it's work!
Then, I started thinking. Enough is enough. How long am I going to see myself being bullied by seniors? It's not even my job to begin with! And no matter how I contributed, like I always do, the credits would always go to THEM. It's not like I'm badmouthing anyone here, but that is a fact. The fact that in general, the newbies are always bullied by the seniors to do donkey work. This is so not healthy. But can anything be done about this situation?
For me, yes. I have finally, for one, decided to not say the magic word. I don't care anymore, it's not my job so when I am being questioned, that would be my respond. easy. simple. not lying.

It's really difficult to get out of this kind of situation, especially when we are in the workplace. Unless you know your way to sweettalk yourself out of the situation then you're a genius. I guess I am the dumb one here, always too afraid people might judge me for being lazy and not doing my job.
But when I think of it now, it doesn't matter anymore, whether I do the job or not, they will always be there to judge me. The reason is simple, they never like me and they hate to see me free. I have just worked my a*s off and just when i want to relax, they would say i am so free compared to them.
Life is never fair.
Someone told me some people are just so lucky to have good lives. But i told that person it is wrong. Those people have good lives because they know which side of the bread is buttered.
As for me, on the other hand, I don't go and sweettalk people, I do my job as best as I can and that's it. ( I can't and don't want to change who I am) that's why I'm facing all this sh*t right now. But I will do my best to prevent that from happening right now. If only ... All I can do is pray for something to happen now. I really hate what is happening right now.
So, I just want to push everything away and pretend nothing ever happened. What's the point of doing EVERYTHING and not getting ANYTHING out of it? It's like I'm a ghost writer. Really gets me questioning WHY is this happening to me all over again. It's because of my say YES attitude. Hate myself for that.
Well, so...
Note to self: Please be nice to yourself, treat yourself to something nice and let's forget about work for awhile.

Believe in what you pray for

Often times when we pray for something, let's face it, for example, ME, I don't really expect that my prayer would be answered. I doubt too much, I just pray because I need to, but I don't really expect it to be answered. Why? Because there was a time when I used to trust in answered prayers, and then suddenly everything changed. My prayers went unanswered and I was left there, waiting for a reply that never came.

Then, I realised, with painful truth that, it was with good reason that it wasn't answered. Most of the times, we pray with a desire in our heart. And that desire isn't healthy. It makes our prayer into something totally different, it becomes instead of "God, can I have this?" to "God you MUST give me or else..."  See the difference in those two situation? My prayer often became the latter part, much to my regret. 

I still have a long way to go in seeking God, that is why my life journey will never be a boring one, because every day I discover something new, that changes the way I see God and making me understand, though not all the time, that it's because He loves us that He refuses to give us what we want, because the thing we want, would eventually hurt us. So, if we still want it anyway, then whatever the consequences, we must learn how to face it on our own. Of course, we would also tend to blame God because it looks like it was because of Him we got hurt. Humans... 

Oh well, I was never perfect to begin with. There are so many things that I have learnt along the way and today's entry, about believing in what we pray for really means a lot to me.

The waiting part is always the hardest, but when we passed that phase, it would be a lot easier. Of course, most of the time we don't know when do we actually pass the waiting test. Only God knows and therefore, we must learn to trust in Him, and listen to that small voice, or so I've heard and read His words all the time. 

As for me, since I started to pray and BELIEVE in what I prayed for, now although I am still waiting, I will still praise Him because as each day comes to an end, my answer is a day nearer. I just simply believe that the timing must be perfect in order for everything to fall into place. I am still waiting, FYI, but I just have to trust Him on this matter, because it is a big matter. 

So, do not be afraid, pray, but take away the unhealthy desire thingy, pray with a humble and hopeful heart, and the secret recipe is to BELIEVE that you have actually received it, and thank God for it. 

Dear Me: How did 2015 treat you?

Now is already the month of December, time really passes by fast.
I don't think I am ready for 2016, just thinking of next year makes me shudder!!
2015 has been a memorable year for me, actually. Many things had happened, good and bad alike but at the end of the year, they are nothing but memories that I either want to cherish or throw away.

2015 is the year where I thought I actually met the One, but actually I just made a fool out of myself. Since then, it feels like a quest to search for the real one, until today it was without luck.
I try to tell myself that surely the Lord has something better in mind for me, it's actually to stop myself from crying because deep down I know that if i try to take matters into my own hands, I would only end up getting hurt because I haven't been exactly obedient to God. I thought that it was time for me to meet him, but I guess only God knows when and He knows the BEST time to reveal him to me.

So, through the months that came, I kept on riding this emotional roller-coaster where sometimes I feel so happy that the next day I would fall into a depressed state. Despite being sad and broken-hearted, I still decided that the best thing was still to pray.

Here are some motivational verses that I got when I was going through the hard times, and believe me when I say this, God is near to the broken-hearted! He might not be visible to us but He is definitely there when we need Him. Even though I can't see Him, deep down in my heart, I just somehow know that He has been stopping me for a good reason. Although I can't see it now, but I know that time will tell. (I got this from an FB page, really useful as a source of comfort when I am feeling down and all alone in this big world)

In conclusion, God is telling me everything is all about timing and that I must be obedient and seek HIM first. 

I get the point, but sometimes I just feel like I have been waiting for ages and nothing is ever given to me. I can't get what I want, but what I don't realize is that, without knowing it, I got other things instead, things that I never thought of. 

It's also a sign that my prayer can't be answered because it's just not good for me, no matter how much I want it, because the problem is what I want isn't necessarily what God wants for  me. 

That is why, no matter how sad or broken I am, I know that I must trust Him when He says that He has everything handled for me. 

Now, I am resetting my focus, instead of chasing things, I have stopped searching, and now I am focusing on seeking God first. I find it soothing, calm and exciting at the same time because each time I read the Word of God, there must be verses that are relevant to me and verses that I can relate to what I am going through right now. 

For example last night as I was reading the Book of Luke, when the angel Gabriel told Mary about how Elizabeth was 6 month pregnant even though she was very old, the angel said, "For no word will be impossible with God". 

And because Mary believed, the angel then said, "And blessed are you who believed, for the things that were spoken to you by the Lord shall be accomplished."

God does not take promises lightly, so I get the idea that when God promises, He would surely carry out His promises. So, I must simply believe that God has already granted His promise to me. It just takes the correct timing for His promise to come true. 

Even Jesus said, "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." -Mark 11:24-

Trip to KL + Convocation day

Thinking back, I always though that graduation day would be fun, but it turned out to be my worse nightmare. I dont know if it was because of poor management or simply I was too weak.
But the process of getting to KL and meeting up with my friends and getting the scroll made it all worthwhile.

First, my friend and I arrived at KL and attended the briefing before our parents came. Then we had fun going out together, since we had never been to KL together. Although we didn't really go to many places but by just being together it was already fun!
\

(Finally got the scroll, yup, I have graduated, getting a first class degree in Tesl, Thank you Lord, all glory and praises goes to YOU,)

(Flowers for me!! )

Flashback of my first year part 2(end)

Hi, so here is part 2 of what I have been through in my new school.
Although sometimes there were hard times but I would like to see it as something that I can take up and improve myself so that I could do better in the future.

(went for picnic by the river)

(It was a wonderful experience, except for walking in the jungle)

(Malaysia Day, so we went to town just to celebrate and had breakfast at Sugar Bun)

(Malaysia day parade, it could be a rural school but believe me, the number of pupils are those of an urban school)

(This class even had their own pictures, year 3A, hehe)

(Had a great time, although the walk was quite tiring, but the spirit was there!!)

(My class won the best class in decorating for the Merdeka day, congrats to us!!)

(Year 6 trip to Kuching, this was at Semenggoh wildlife)

(In the bus with them..)

(At Damai Beach with the pupils and friends, the scenery was breathtaking but i didnt have time to take more pictures)

(The wooden bridge, it was a nice experience for me because I myself, being a Kuching person had never been to Kampung Budaya before)

(Group photo with all the staff, teachers and the year 6 pupils) 

(Dinner with them)

(Malam apresiasi murid asrama and te theme was red carpet, it was a grand night and i even won a hamper and RM50!! Praise God)

(My first annual dinner...)

(Group photo)

(Me and one of my girl that would be transferring back to Sibu, it was a sad moment, do ignore my smile, she was a great pupil, and this is really a big lose to my school)

So,  I guess that's about it for now. 

2015 had indeed brought me a lot of memories, despite bad things that happened, I would take it as a reminder to improve myself in the future. 

Goodbye for now and God bless!