To serve with love

I would like to wish all nurses around the world a very happy nurse day, especially to my beloved sister, who's in Penang right now. For me, being a nurse is a very difficult job and I really admire my sister because she chose this profession. Even though society may think this is a low level job but if not for the nurses, who's going to help the doctors? I don't believe the doctors can do much without the help from the nurses. This very day goes way back to the late Florence Nightingale, who was born on this exact same day in the year 1820. Not many dare to sacrifice and devote their life to nursing because as I had mentioned earlier, this is no easy job.

today was a busy day and just went through the 'taklimat peperiksaan'. Really feel nervous now because exam is next week and I'm really struggling here to finish my studies. There's some progress so I hope everything can finish up in time.

The thought of the day is to be kind, and I did try my best to be kind to everyone today and it feels great because it's good to smile and just relax.

have a good day everyone .. (:

Life in the past and present

Often in life we always think that we are alone, some people just can't mingle with others and they are often segregated from the so-called gang, or other times those people will bad mouth 'us' and label us as geeks, nerds and also autism(which someone called me just recently). I myself admit that I find it difficult to mix and socialize with people whom I find boring and also only being able to talk nonsense, gossip for example, it's not that I've never gossiped, but sometimes there are this certain type of people who just can't stop talking rubbish. My point is, what should one do if he or she is being isolated from a big group? I have that experience already, as I had mentioned earlier, one of my course-mate labelled me as a person suffering from autism. Well, at first I was really mad and I prayed that he would fall down the stairs.

Anger cannot be avoided, in my case because having people bad mouth you is bad enough(I've been called a nerd before), but being called autism? Isn't that too much?

Before this, I really felt like crying, and in fact I did

cry because I couldn't stand the pressure. I've always thought that God should be here with me at times like this, but where was He?

A few weeks back, I asked a Pastor for advise and he told me that sometimes God doesn't answer our prayer directly but He did not do it on purpose. He said, "God does everything with a purpose". He also added, maybe I'm not ready and the time isn't right. So, I continued to pray. One day, I was reading "Our Daily Bread" as usual and I was shocked, because from that day's reading the writer said that "Isolation and loneliness are among the most painful of human experiences". I almost cried but stopped myself immediately. With that, the writer gave a verse from the bible, and I will never forget it. "God said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you'. [Heb. 13:5]

He ended by saying, :In Christ you will never walk alone.

I felt so touched at the moment and I really thanked God from the bottom of my heart because I knew that my prayer was answered. God has spoken through the scriptures, just as He said He would.

After that day, I felt myself changing, I was no longer afraid if I don't have anyone beside me when I'm going somewhere because I know that God is always beside me. Though I know that sometimes I must have at least a friend I will never forget that God is there to support me in my journey.

Suicide? Yes, I've thought of it. But I thought about it a lot of times and I finally realized what a fool I must be because I even though I end my suffering on earth, I will suffer eternally in the burning fires of hell. As a conclusion, suicide is not and never will be a wise choice and answer. So please don't waste your life away. Remember this, God needs you and that you're not on this earth without a reason.

I've also learnt to love myself

and others around me slowly with the Lord's help.

Good night and God bless..

Smile, and remember you're beautiful (:

So yesterday

Listening to "So yesterday" by Hilary Duff and it struck me. Once something happened, we cannot reverse it because it's said and done.

Life's like that, often we want to turn back the time but it's too late. However, what we can do is to improve from our mistakes and promise ourselves not to repeat the same errors we had committed in the past.

I've made a lot of mistakes in the past and up till now i'm still making up for it. I really thank God for giving me time to repent.

Besides that, I've also let my past go because I want to live a new life with God. To DO so isn't that easy of course because there's so many things I cannot forget, the bad things and I feel grateful because He has forgiven

my sins, the thing is I still can't forgive myself, till the day I realised that by not forgiving myself isn't going to get me anywhere. After forgiving myself bit by bit, I feel that I can breathe more freely and now I really live on the Word of God because what He said is all true and He really spoke to me through the verses. Besides that, it is also because of my friend that I decided to open up a blog. I want to share my life experiences so that people out there who are facing hardship like I did will know that they are not alone in this world

.

Now I'm studying for my mock exam but I don't know why I'm not that nervous,(later results come out then i pengsan..heheh) Getting ready for my big exam, which is next week. i PRAY God will give me guidance ..