Believe in what you pray for

Often times when we pray for something, let's face it, for example, ME, I don't really expect that my prayer would be answered. I doubt too much, I just pray because I need to, but I don't really expect it to be answered. Why? Because there was a time when I used to trust in answered prayers, and then suddenly everything changed. My prayers went unanswered and I was left there, waiting for a reply that never came.

Then, I realised, with painful truth that, it was with good reason that it wasn't answered. Most of the times, we pray with a desire in our heart. And that desire isn't healthy. It makes our prayer into something totally different, it becomes instead of "God, can I have this?" to "God you MUST give me or else..."  See the difference in those two situation? My prayer often became the latter part, much to my regret. 

I still have a long way to go in seeking God, that is why my life journey will never be a boring one, because every day I discover something new, that changes the way I see God and making me understand, though not all the time, that it's because He loves us that He refuses to give us what we want, because the thing we want, would eventually hurt us. So, if we still want it anyway, then whatever the consequences, we must learn how to face it on our own. Of course, we would also tend to blame God because it looks like it was because of Him we got hurt. Humans... 

Oh well, I was never perfect to begin with. There are so many things that I have learnt along the way and today's entry, about believing in what we pray for really means a lot to me.

The waiting part is always the hardest, but when we passed that phase, it would be a lot easier. Of course, most of the time we don't know when do we actually pass the waiting test. Only God knows and therefore, we must learn to trust in Him, and listen to that small voice, or so I've heard and read His words all the time. 

As for me, since I started to pray and BELIEVE in what I prayed for, now although I am still waiting, I will still praise Him because as each day comes to an end, my answer is a day nearer. I just simply believe that the timing must be perfect in order for everything to fall into place. I am still waiting, FYI, but I just have to trust Him on this matter, because it is a big matter. 

So, do not be afraid, pray, but take away the unhealthy desire thingy, pray with a humble and hopeful heart, and the secret recipe is to BELIEVE that you have actually received it, and thank God for it. 

Dear Me: How did 2015 treat you?

Now is already the month of December, time really passes by fast.
I don't think I am ready for 2016, just thinking of next year makes me shudder!!
2015 has been a memorable year for me, actually. Many things had happened, good and bad alike but at the end of the year, they are nothing but memories that I either want to cherish or throw away.

2015 is the year where I thought I actually met the One, but actually I just made a fool out of myself. Since then, it feels like a quest to search for the real one, until today it was without luck.
I try to tell myself that surely the Lord has something better in mind for me, it's actually to stop myself from crying because deep down I know that if i try to take matters into my own hands, I would only end up getting hurt because I haven't been exactly obedient to God. I thought that it was time for me to meet him, but I guess only God knows when and He knows the BEST time to reveal him to me.

So, through the months that came, I kept on riding this emotional roller-coaster where sometimes I feel so happy that the next day I would fall into a depressed state. Despite being sad and broken-hearted, I still decided that the best thing was still to pray.

Here are some motivational verses that I got when I was going through the hard times, and believe me when I say this, God is near to the broken-hearted! He might not be visible to us but He is definitely there when we need Him. Even though I can't see Him, deep down in my heart, I just somehow know that He has been stopping me for a good reason. Although I can't see it now, but I know that time will tell. (I got this from an FB page, really useful as a source of comfort when I am feeling down and all alone in this big world)

In conclusion, God is telling me everything is all about timing and that I must be obedient and seek HIM first. 

I get the point, but sometimes I just feel like I have been waiting for ages and nothing is ever given to me. I can't get what I want, but what I don't realize is that, without knowing it, I got other things instead, things that I never thought of. 

It's also a sign that my prayer can't be answered because it's just not good for me, no matter how much I want it, because the problem is what I want isn't necessarily what God wants for  me. 

That is why, no matter how sad or broken I am, I know that I must trust Him when He says that He has everything handled for me. 

Now, I am resetting my focus, instead of chasing things, I have stopped searching, and now I am focusing on seeking God first. I find it soothing, calm and exciting at the same time because each time I read the Word of God, there must be verses that are relevant to me and verses that I can relate to what I am going through right now. 

For example last night as I was reading the Book of Luke, when the angel Gabriel told Mary about how Elizabeth was 6 month pregnant even though she was very old, the angel said, "For no word will be impossible with God". 

And because Mary believed, the angel then said, "And blessed are you who believed, for the things that were spoken to you by the Lord shall be accomplished."

God does not take promises lightly, so I get the idea that when God promises, He would surely carry out His promises. So, I must simply believe that God has already granted His promise to me. It just takes the correct timing for His promise to come true. 

Even Jesus said, "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." -Mark 11:24-

Trip to KL + Convocation day

Thinking back, I always though that graduation day would be fun, but it turned out to be my worse nightmare. I dont know if it was because of poor management or simply I was too weak.
But the process of getting to KL and meeting up with my friends and getting the scroll made it all worthwhile.

First, my friend and I arrived at KL and attended the briefing before our parents came. Then we had fun going out together, since we had never been to KL together. Although we didn't really go to many places but by just being together it was already fun!
\

(Finally got the scroll, yup, I have graduated, getting a first class degree in Tesl, Thank you Lord, all glory and praises goes to YOU,)

(Flowers for me!! )

Flashback of my first year part 2(end)

Hi, so here is part 2 of what I have been through in my new school.
Although sometimes there were hard times but I would like to see it as something that I can take up and improve myself so that I could do better in the future.

(went for picnic by the river)

(It was a wonderful experience, except for walking in the jungle)

(Malaysia Day, so we went to town just to celebrate and had breakfast at Sugar Bun)

(Malaysia day parade, it could be a rural school but believe me, the number of pupils are those of an urban school)

(This class even had their own pictures, year 3A, hehe)

(Had a great time, although the walk was quite tiring, but the spirit was there!!)

(My class won the best class in decorating for the Merdeka day, congrats to us!!)

(Year 6 trip to Kuching, this was at Semenggoh wildlife)

(In the bus with them..)

(At Damai Beach with the pupils and friends, the scenery was breathtaking but i didnt have time to take more pictures)

(The wooden bridge, it was a nice experience for me because I myself, being a Kuching person had never been to Kampung Budaya before)

(Group photo with all the staff, teachers and the year 6 pupils) 

(Dinner with them)

(Malam apresiasi murid asrama and te theme was red carpet, it was a grand night and i even won a hamper and RM50!! Praise God)

(My first annual dinner...)

(Group photo)

(Me and one of my girl that would be transferring back to Sibu, it was a sad moment, do ignore my smile, she was a great pupil, and this is really a big lose to my school)

So,  I guess that's about it for now. 

2015 had indeed brought me a lot of memories, despite bad things that happened, I would take it as a reminder to improve myself in the future. 

Goodbye for now and God bless!

Flashback of my first year part 1

It's been a while since my last entry. Been busy with my new career as a teacher, plus being posted in a rural school made it difficult for me to get a hold on the internet, and when i do have time to go to town, I had to finish up my work.

Now is already the first day of December! I really can't believe how fast time flies, because it only seemed liked yesterday that I was packing my things ready to set off to my new school.
It has been 9 months in that school and trust me, so many things happened that I really want to share. Of course there are the good, the bad and the sad memories, but since it's the season to be jolly, let's only dwell on the good memories that happened this year.

(training pupils for choral speaking competition, won third place and represented kanowit to Sibu, although we didnt win, but the experience gained was really worth it!)

(my humble home, this was when we first moved in, wait till you see it NOW, i prefer it when it was still like this xD)

(Morning scenery from the back, the heavy mist in the morning made me feel like I'm living in the mountains, but in the afternoon it would be hot as if you're in an oven!!)

(After two weeks, finally going back home for the CNY holidays, hey, we had to ride in a lorry, boat and van to reach the airport, luckily i made it on time!!)

(After the holidays, my kids got their medical check up and injection, they were year 1 and I was their homeroom teacher)

(my favourite subject: Art class, although i am teaching english, i love arts too, and i like it when the pupils enjoyed themselves and i could see that they are really talented, although the process was gruesome and they had their shirt all stained by paint)

(One of the good thing in a rural school, is that you get to eat all those exotic food! This is one of my favourite, known as PAMA, it's a type of frog and as you can see from the picture, the legs and head are still inside the pot, i only like to eat the thigh because they really taste like chicken! YUM!)

(During one of the long weekends, finally got to meet my best friend, MAG!! She came all the way from Bintulu to Sibu just to meet me! How sweet of her! Talked non-stop even if it was only for a few minutes) 

This is the end of part 1, so be prepared for the next part to come! Bye

Starting a new career: Teaching

After waiting for a month plus, finally I got the name of the school which I am posted to. I was shocked at first because I have never been to any place outside of Kuching (my hometown).
My first school is SK Nanga Ngungun in Kanowit.
But, as they say losers can't be beggars, meaning to say that I have no right to say anything because I could have no posting at all, so a job is better than job, hence the saying. :)

Anyway, I did a bit of checking and found out that the school is actually not bad, despite having to use an express boat to arrive there, it's still actually quite near the small town. I just hope that it has everything I need because I really don't know what to bring and I'm now afraid that I would forget to bring what's really important.

The feeling I'm having right now is bittersweet. It is great that I got a job but I was secretly hoping that it was somewhere near my family. But, I hope there's some blessing in disguise. Now, all I want to be is think positively and hope for the best. So far, I've contacted the school's headmaster and he seemed a nice person and so I could only pray now.

(In dilemma of what to bring.. going somewhere new could be such a headache sometimes)

(I feel like I'm trying to put in my whole wardrobe into the luggage)

Let's pray that the people there are nice and that I can communicate well with them. Amen.. :)

Raining, raining, what to do

It's been raining non-stop for a few days now. I like being at home but the rain is making me worried that there might be a flood in my housing area. :-/

I really pray that the rain would stop. Since I haven't updated in quite a while, here's what I've been up to. Enjoy the pictures. ^-^

(Made this large because my nephew's feet was too large for his age. The first one couldn't fit it at all)

(A new colour for him, this is the best one, i have to admit, practice makes perfect)

(Sushi anyone? Been watching too many anime, yummy though)

(Miniature and funny looking pizza, but still they taste good) ^-^

(My biggest project, making them for sale, still have two more to go, hoping to make more, let's hope I can have all the time I need to finish them) 

There's many things we can do at home when it's raining. Since I'm the indoor type, I find it heaven, the cool and nice weather, only makes me want to sleep. But I busying myself with so many things which I had no time to do before, but now I can finally do what I like. :)

God bless and let's pray that the rain will not affect our mood today.

Is the order a rabbit Review

Just finished watching this anime and for me, it's quite okay. But if you like cute adorable girls, this would be the anime for you. The title itself is quite funny. At first I thought there was an error or something, I thought it was supposed to be "The order of the rabbit" ... T_T

Anyway, there is nothing romantic in it, but it's quite fun to watch the daily lives of girls doing part-time jobs as waitresses in different cafes.

The main character in the story is a very shy girl and she made friends with a very lively girl, named Cocoa, and together their lives became lively along with their other friends. The most hilarious thing in this story is that the shy girl always carry something fluffy on her head, which turned out to be a rabbit. And INSIDE the rabbit was her grandpa, which, for unknown reason, the grandpa was inside the body of the rabbit named Tippy.

(the main character with her rabbit a.k.a grandpa a.k.a Tippy on her head)

Idols: What about them?

I believe lots of people in this world adore more than one celebrity and these are considered as idols. I don't mean it in a bad way. I mean, we just adore them so much. But there should be a limit to it.

I like tons of singer and actors that I can't really keep count of them. The most important thing in liking idols are that there should be something good we can learn from them. If they are doing wrong things, we shouldn't follow their footsteps.

Most of the time, I love singers because they could sing so very well. However, they are not genius, look at how silly they are during variety shows. Therefore, we shouldn't brand idols as perfect people, because they are not! They are just humans, like you and me. If there's something I learnt from them, it's never to give up. Nothing is easy in this world. They might make it seem easy but it's not. However, we can learn from them, such as how to be strong when faced with negative comments and learn from past mistakes.

My favorite singer lately is none other than THE Taylor Swift. She started out small, with just country songs. But steadily she rose to fame and look where she is today. She never really cares what others talk about her. She is self-confident, in a good way(I think). I like how she could be strong continuously. I bet she must have had some bad days. But she can cover it up well and get over it without making such a big fuss about it (except for the part that most of her songs were about her ex's).
 I like independent women, they can really show the world that women can be at par with men.

Review on Re: Hamatora 2

Wonderful anime!!! I've fallen in love with it since watching the first season.

The story is about people with super abilities and it's about a detective group(Hamatora) who solve cases. They are like private investigators.
The characters in the story are mostly handsome and the story line is very nice.

In the 2nd season, it was a continuation from a cliffhanging 1st season. I was so sad when I thought that the main character "Nice" was dead. But at the end of the first ep, he was actually alive!!! ^-^

His childhood friend became crazy because of some reason and wanted to kill him. So, this season was how Nice kept himself alive with the help of his other friends. In this season, their abilities started to deteriorate and at first I thought that all super abilities would eventually vanish. But they were like that because of someone. That person's ability was to neutralise super abilities. Weird, but the person's ability could only be activated when he is met with despair.

What I like about this anime is that there was forgiveness in the end.
I am happy that the bad character turned good in the end(because I liked him so much in the 1st season). Hence the ending was very good. I am not a good judge in anime because mainly I just follow the storyline without complaining, unless the plot is too flat and the main character becomes too important that he overshadows the other characters.

Love this anime and secretly hoping that there will be another season or OVA.. :)