Too many problems to face this month, as if the previous months weren't hectic enough.
So many events were delayed and now when its study week i can't even study in peace. Enough complaining already ( it won't help to ease my burden anyway).
I've been thinking a lot lately. About something foolish that i've done and because of that i have to face the consequences, alone. But luckily, i found out i wasn't alone. For Jesus is with me. The song "Footprints in the sand" (which i'm listening to right this very moment). I never felt so relieved. Physically, i am going through this alone,but spiritually, I'm confident that my Lord will see me through this problem, I really pray for safety. Only He knows what I'm going through now. There was a time i couldn't stand it anymore, then i searched for this song that my mom asked me to search for. "When i cry", immediately as the song started to play, i started to cry and i wasn't ashamed of it. I was completely too tired and no one around me seems to understand what i was going through at that time. i couldn't blame them because this was entirely my own fault. It really felt much better after crying, then i started to realise i MUST give my problem to the Lord, let Him decide everything for me, because i've already done what i can. After that, i felt this peace and a calm mind. Now i'm just waiting for the days to come. I can't wait to finish my exam and go back HOME!!
Because of all that's happened, i even fought with my friend, and of course, i wasn't mad because i was the cause of all problem, so why blame it on others? now i just hope she will somehow or later forgive me.
About Gossiping
I am sometimes( probably MOST of the time) confused with the term 'gossip'. I know in the Bible it says its one of the deadliest sins. I am very aware of that. I admit i'm not perfect because i love gossiping. But then, i try to prevent it if i can. Gossip is something that i can't seem to avoid, it's like a part and parcel of my life. But as i did my devotional, i saw in Proverbs that there were a lot of warning about gossiping.
"Without wood, a fire will go out. And without gossip. quarelling will stop." -Proverbs 26:20-
Now, whenever i hear someone asking me to join in gossiping, i will somehow just answer, "um, oh?", but inside my heart, i feel like sharing all the information i have gathered, but somehow or rather i could swallow it. the feeling was bitter, seriously. I still gossip though, but .... yeah, no matter what i say, gossip is still gossip, what for being a hypocrite here?? :)
I just hope in time to come i can reduce it and also help my friends at the same time, because if they stop, i will stop too .. =D
God's timing
His timing is really funny and i am starting to trust in His timing. I went to church then i thought, "Well, maybe i could meet that someone here." Then he appeared. Anyway, i thought he was D-one. But he wasn't. I kept on waiting for an answer, but nothing came up. Then this thought came up, "Well, he has basically everything i want in my special person list." But then, i realised one thing, i wasnt sure whether he reads his bible everyday or not. I need to get to know him better, but i don't. If he likes me, he will take the time to know me better and TALK to me. DUH~~ All the time he ignored me and talked to my friend, even though i was right beside him!! haha~~
So, i laughed to myself, "Yeah, i was crazy to think sooo much". When i got back, and read my devotional book, it said "God is worth waiting for; His time is always best." my response: WOW ..
I wanted to laugh till my stomach hurts but i couldnt because... i just couldnt. The Lord was talking to me. Ever since i prayed for the Lord to talk to me, He had always revealed what He wanted to tell me through His Holy Word. Because i don't believe in coincidence, i will always repeat, I believe everything happens for a reason. Well, i just have to keep on waiting.
Got to go now, good night and God bless~~
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