Back to the past

I felt as if the force of the past is pulling me back. Now there's nothing i can do but be pulled back. From today onward, all i see is a picture of black and white. I don't know how to explain this feeling but it's awful.

There's no more color left in my world. I have gone back to the past, i think it's just me because everyone else seems so blissful in their own world. I'm the only one with the sulky face.

I won't laugh anymore nor will i cry, i must be strong and endure this painful suffering. I hate it here. I keep on repeating the same thing, BUT mark my word. I will only improve and study harder so i could pass my time rather than realising the fact that im actually in another hell hole! U thought i had managed to escape the previous one but it seems as if i have fallen into another one, not to mention the increase in depth.

I really hope and pray this year will end fast, I've always thought that 2011 was bad, this year's WORSE!!! I despise the fact that i'm even here. Shit! That's a damn painful truth and i have to bear with me.

Like what my friend said, now i know how she feels, i'm at the bottom of the wheel and stuck to there until the time of the world ends.

I simply can't smile, even if i do, it's so damn FAKE and it looks so fucking SICK!!!! I never felt so much anger in me before. I don't know what else to say, just *##*!!!!!!!!!!!