Be yourself

There are times you hate yourself.
There are times you wish you weren't born, so there would be no problems at all.
There are times, you feel you can't go on anymore.
That's life. It's a roller-coaster, a wheel of fortune.
Nothing is permanent, we won't be sad forever, nor will we be happy forever.
That's how things work.
So, we must learn to appreciate happy times and catch hold on it when we face difficult times.
That's how you will survive the dark tunnel.

Like what God said,
He never promised life would be easy, but He promised to be by our side the whole time. No matter what. period.


Be yourself, do not change just to satisfy others, because at the end of the day, you will lose what's most important to you, and that is you yourself, your true self. Do not imitate others just so that you would be popular, it is temporary. You would only hurt yourself more.

If they don't like you, leave them. They are not worth your worry. God has a more important mission for you. Never pity yourself. Throw that self-pity away, pray for God's strength and wisdom.
Let the Lord avenge for you. :)

My new favourite: Holly Starr

I was browsing Youtube for new songs. Then I found hers. It was like it was meant to be. I was feeling rather low due to something I'm going through. The first song was "Through my father's eyes" and the second one was "God is".
Her song spoke what I was exactly feeling and I thank God for showing me her songs. It seems He's talking to me through her songs. Now, I am revived and listening to her songs every day. :)
Can't get tired listening to it over and over again.
Her lyrics are so meaningful.
(Through my father's eyes)
So many days I listen to the voice inside my head
I never thought that I'd be someone who could be misled
I wanted the mirror to show me something I could not see
I needed explanations for expectations I could never reach

I know I'm not the only one who's ever cried for help
And Jesus did for me what I could not do myself

He changed my life, I'm changing my mind
He healed all that was broken inside
I'm loving what I can see with His spirit alive in me
I'm finding beauty for the first time
Looking through my Father's eyes
(Looking through my Father's eyes)

From what I see it looks like you don't like yourself too much
When I hear you talk it sounds like you just feel like giving up
I know it's hard to see through what this world will tell you
'Cause misconceptions and false reflections will never be the truth

Just know I'm not the only one who's ever cried for help
Jesus loves you in ways that you cannot love yourself

He changed my life, I'm changing my mind
He healed all that was broken inside
I'm loving what I can see with His spirit alive in me
I'm finding beauty for the first time
Looking through my Father's eyes

I can see your freedom coming
You'll be a slave to nothing
When you see through my Father's eyes

He changed my life, I'm changing my mind
He healed all that was broken inside
I'm loving what I can see with His spirit alive in me
I'm finding beauty for the first time
Looking through my Father's eyes

I can see your freedom coming (I can see your freedom coming) 
You'll be a slave to nothing (You'll be a slave to nothing)

I'm finding beauty for the first time
Looking through my Father's eyes
(I'm finding beauty for the first time
Looking through my Father's eyes)

Read more: http://muzikum.eu/en/123-12140-150661/holly-starr/through-my-fathers-eyes-lyrics.html#ixzz3FiX2Ccoq


God is indeed alive and I praise Him for all He has done in my life. :)

Journey of my Action Research

Finally the time came for me to present my action research report.
After carrying out the research for a few months, I think it was worth it because at the end I could see the fruits from my hard work.
It was hectic for everyone as we finished our report and presented it.
I am so glad that this hurdle is finally over.
It was truly God's presence with me with Mary's prayer that I overcome my fear of speaking in front of the public.
Here's some pictures:-

(Photoshoot before the real thing began.)

(End of our seminar, it was exhausting but thank God everything went smoothly, picture with our head of language department) Phew!!

Trips to the Islands

After being in Sabah for almost 5 years, finally had the chance to visit the small islands beside it. Although there were obstacles, such as the unpredictable weather, but God is good, when we arrived at the island, the rain stopped and we all had a GREAT time.. After we came back to the mainland, the rain poured like what!!
The water was soooo blue and beautiful.. :) I would never forget those moments...
Being able to go there really made me praise God all the more. It has been hectic for a few months now and this trip was a real good getaway for me to refresh my heart mind and soul....

(on the way to Manukan Island, rough ride as there was slight rain)

(Arrived at Manukan Island, it's beauty was enchanting, how wonderful is God's creation)

(At Sapi Island, thank God the weather improved for the better, had a fun time snorkeling and taking pictures) ignore the mismatch of t-shirt and skirt.. = ='' 

(Memorable picture.. Two silly ladies searching for fishes) 

Well, finally my dream of going to the islands is achieved, thanks to good friends. Thank you Lord for everything, the good weather and everything went on smoothly... 

Things I want to do

There's just so many things I want to do in life. But now I'm afraid there won't be enough time.
With so many things happening in the world today, i think time is very limited and we should really appreciate those around us and start to do the things we want to before it's too late.
So far, I've established my relationship with the Lord, though I'm still new, i just know He is there for me..
Now, there's something that i want so badly that i can't sleep at night just thinking about it..
I want to fall in love.. >_<

I've never been really in love before. By saying 'really' I really mean really. 

Getting older starts to make me scared because I realised that I've never really like anyone before. 

It's a sad thing but it's the truth. 

Luckily I always have a comforter, which is Him, and I just have to trust in His timing.

I'm getting nervous and often times I started to overreact and think too much.

For example, sometimes there's this guy i met, so, he's good and so on, but then even though i don't know a thing about him, my mind would go beserk thinking whether he's the one for me or not. In the end, I was the one getting broken-hearted.

First, he doesn't even realise I exist, and second it's 90% that he has someone already....

Oh... my life~~~

I wonder what does it feel like to fall in love... :) I'm really curious...

I also want to travel the world. It's my final semester and if God's willing i would be posted early next year. I just can't wait for my first pay.. It's been my dream to travel the world. But after a few incidents that happened recently, I think I am afraid to use airplanes. But God is greater.. 

I my me and mine

To survive in today's world, that is what we should all be doing, if not you will definitely find yourself at the bottom of the well.
It's a sad but true fact of life. Even your own friend don't trust you with information that they think will make you better off than them.
I'm fade up with people like that but still I have no choice but to live among them. This is how the world works now.

It's difficult to be the good guy when you want to succeed in life.

However, as a Christian, we should know what to do and follow Christ, our best role model ever!!

I'm always the last person to know when there's something going on. Of course, there are still a few good souls out there and it's thanks to them that I get updated.

That's why now i have to be always alert of things around me and try to ask around. I know it hurts our pride, but we need to survive too. So we just have to bear with it...

Anyway, i guess we need to think of it as a challenge and find ways to overcome it. Maybe He wants us to humble ourselves.
I went through a lot of hardship just in order to learn that He wants me to be humble.
I had a hard time until the day I realised what God has in store for me: Being humble.
Humble is never easy because i never want people to pity me nor use me for their own benefits.
Sometimes, things like this just have to happen. It's just meant to be. I can't really explain why and how but all the prove I have keep pointing to one thing and that is All this while my life has been revolving aroung God's will for me.

I was never happy before because it seems that nothing that i want ever comes true, but i stopped complaining the moment i realised that I was going towards the path that the Lord has set for me. He has given me what i needed for my journey and not what i wanted because all those weren't necessary.

I'm still learning and there's just so many things which i have realised recently and therefore now i will accept things as it is and be assured that this is the Lord's will for me and i will obediently follow Him without questioning Him.
I have been questioning Him for too long now and it's time that I let my faith do the rest.

Favouritism

James 2:1-7

English Standard Version (ESV)

The Sin of Partiality

2 My brothers,[a] show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory.2 For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, 3 and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,” while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,” 4 have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? 5 Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him? 6 But you have dishonored the poor man. Are not the rich the ones who oppress you, and the ones who drag you into court? 7 Are they not the ones who blaspheme the honorable name by which you were called?

I'm not sure if those reading this have ever faced "favouritism" but it's already become a norm in my life. 

Being down is normal, but my spirits immediately raised when I saw this picture, 

We should be very grateful that our Lord does not have any favourites, we are all the same to Him, no matter how GREAT we think we are, no matter how much we contribute to the church, etc. 

Humans, on the other hand, is different. We do not think like God because we are not Him.

Favouritism in my understanding is to favour another person over the other. 

This will always occur to people whom they deem not GOOD enough, not PRETTY enough or not SMART enough. 

I DO want to think that it does not hurt, but in fact, I'm crushed.

I really hate this feeling and at times like this, God seems so far away, it's one thing not able to see Him, but I want to feel Him, the thing is I can't feel anything at all. All I can see around me are lies and deceit. 

I just want to be left alone but it can't be done like that. 

I am in the stage where everything around me is complete darkness and i have no idea where i'm going. I just keep on to the Lord's promise that, if I trust in Him completely, i will never get lost even though i don't know where i am going.

As for now, all i can do is pray.

Nothing is going right for me at the moment. When i look at others, i just feel envious and jealous (exactly THINGS that i don't want to feel). I have failed again and again.

Finance is another problem. Living in the city really takes it toll. I feel like dying sometimes, i can't afford to eat out, and so biscuits and plain water/milo/nescafe are my only choice, it's my breakfast, lunch and dinner.

But still, I am alive, and for that I am grateful to God ( though sometimes i do wish i could leave this wretched world)...