Lesson behind a blocked ear

Ahh, nothing feels more tortured than to be partially deaf. I am grateful that the Lord blessed me with a healthy body.
I'm currently on a 1 week break and I thought that I wanted to relax but suddenly my ear just had to torture me.. At first, I did what I did best, always trying to solve the problem on my own.
So, my ear only got worse. It started to hurt alot, until I couldn't stand it anymore. So I called my mom and she told me I better go and get it checked by a doctor.
It was then, I prayed. Yup, prayer always seemed the last thing to do only after everything I TRY to do on my own fails.
Here, I realised that I have yet a lot to learn. I always thought I would trust Him to care for me, but instead I always take matters into my own hands and in the end, I am the one getting hurt, then I blame Him for allowing me to get hurt. But in actual fact, it was I who didn't wait for His signal and went my own way.
I don't know about others but I do think that sometimes we tend to make our own decisions.
It was until I fall then I remember that we (humans) can make all the decisions we want but He is the One that approves of everything.
I seem to be repeating the same mistakes over and over again. For me personally it is difficult sometimes to wait on the Lord because there are desperate times that you need immediate answer. But this thought is wrong, because we should know that the Lord will ALWAYS answer our prayer, it's just that His timing is different from ours and what we want is different than what HE wants for us.
In the end, I prayed because I didn't want to hurt my ear anymore and went to the clinic. Now my ear is fully healed.. ^-^
Thank God....
I believe that obedience is very very important, if we are faithful in the Lord, that faith will not be in vain.. It's just the Lord's timing is unpredictable, it comes when you least expect it.. For example, for my ear medication, I was given the medication for free!! I went to the governmental clinic and the fee was supposed to be RM1, but on that day no one charged me at all.. :) I have every reason to praise the Lord God Most High..

Little angel

It's been a while since I've updated this blog. The reason is that I'm currently having my teaching practice and it is just so tiring!
However, today something happened and I really wanted to share it with everyone.
It's about a little boy, a boy from my class. What he did really made me touched and how i wished i had a brother or if i were to have a son in the future, i want to have a son just like him.

His name is Amzi. It was after school and i was carrying out my action research. He came by for a short visit. Suddenly, he asked me for help. Then I realised that his school bag was torn. He asked me to fix the zip back to his school bag because it came out.

I noticed that someone sewed his bag before, so i asked him, expecting it to be his mother, but to my astonishment, he said it was him!!! Bear in mind that this little boy is only in Year 2, already he knows how to sew and repair his bag.

I didn't have to ask him because he told me that it's been awhile since he bought a new school bag because his mom won't allow it, so he did his best to protect his bag from getting torn. I was so touched and trust me, i felt so emotional at that time. I never ever met such a good and caring boy. He doesn't complain that his mother won't let him buy a new bag.


It's so difficult to find such a good boy nowadays...

Angels in our midst?

Do you believe in angels?
Do you think they are among us? Protecting us and covering us from harm and danger?
I can say that I'm in between because i never really encountered a real life experience..
I know there ARE angels among us because I trust that they protect us and keep us safe. We usually call them our Guardian Angels.
Even though I've never met mine before but I'm very thankful because by just knowing my angel is with me I feel much safer. Angels are sent by God to protect us. Cool isn't it? It's like having your very own personal bodyguard.
Lately, I've been thinking about angels again. I don't know why but there's was this incident that happened years ago when i was still quite young but i have a good memory to remember clearly what happened. I didn't know much about angels then but i think i might just had witnessed something that i will never forget as long as i live.
The story began like this:
My sisters were both in the bathroom bathing, since they were still small my parents didn't allow them to lock the door in case they couldn't open it later. So the door was slightly opened. Inside the bathroom there was this mini sink where you could wash your face from. It was old and shaky. My parents did everything they could to keep it steady so that it will not fall off.
As they were having fun splashing water everywhere, i was walking pass the bathroom, suddenly I saw a hand holding on to the sink. Then, BANG!!!
The sink fell and crashed! We all had the shock of our lives! Quickly my parents rushed to the bathroom and asked if my sisters were alright. After getting them out of there safely, a thorough body checkup was being done. Not a single scratch was to be found. Was it possible? The sink was made of porcelain. It was broken into a million pieces, and they weren't hurt at all.
I told my parents that i saw a hand holding the sink, could it be one of them pulled at the sink, that's why it fell off?
But like i said, i was young and no one trusted me. And both my sisters said they weren't anywhere near the sink.
Soon the incident was forgotten. A few years passed then suddenly i just had this thought.
I asked my sisters again and still they had the same answer. So i decided to think back, back where i SAW the hand holding on to the sink.
I realised something, my sisters' hands were small, so it was impossible for their hand to be so big, like the hand i SAW holding on to the sink. The hand was definitely a woman's hand, slender.
I decided to keep quiet about it until i can't stand it anymore. So i brought up the topic to  my mom. She was amazed and told me that it must have been a guardian angel protecting them.
So, all this while i got it wrong, i thought the hand belonged to one of my sisters but actually it wasn't!
I don't know if i consider myself lucky seeing an angel's hand. But God is great and He protected my sisters from getting injured.


Another story just happened last year...
I was on holidays and was spending time at home. It was a windy afternoon. I decided to pick out the dry clothes and fold it. Just then, i saw my dad coming down from the stairs, he was quiet, which seemed unusual to me. So, out of curiosity, i guess, i followed him until the kitchen, but the thing was, when i arrived. there was no one there.
Suddenly, i called out to him and the reply came from the living room, in front! I went back and saw that he was wearing a grey shirt. Funny, because earlier, i saw him wearing an orange-stripe shirt.
I told my dad about it and he shook it off easily ( I didn't tell him about the shirt colour), but i just can't. I thought about it for a long time. Around 5pm, he got ready to go to the park. After changing his clothes, he came down. And this time I got the shock of my life. He was wearing an orange-striped shirt!
Could it be, that i saw my father's guardian angel????
Well, something to ponder about...

Who really knows you

In this whole world, there's only One that knows you in and out, and that is the God Almighty, because He made you.
It's funny how people always think they know you but actually they don't know ANYTHING.

Outside, we can look happy and like there's no worries at all, nothing can ever harm us or no burden is ever too heavy. But have they take a look at what's INSIDE our heart? No. Because they don't have laser eyes or supernatural powers to hear our deepest inner thoughts.

Only God knows. At first I thought, "come on, someone must have gone through what i'm going through now". So i started sharing my feelings and hurt with others, but what did I get in return? More hurt. Nobody really understands us. The most frustrating part is they act ALL KNOWING and pretend to know us.
Urgh, hate it when they are like that.

It helps to know that the Lord knows who we really are.
I'm grateful because at least now i know there's someone who really cares and knows what I'm going through, now some dumbo who thinks he knows everything but actually NOTHING!!

Well, enough with the frustration, I just wanted to share some verses from the BIBLE proving that our God is an ALL KNOWING GOD:

1 John 3:19-20

By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything.

And also HE knows when we hurt inside,

You know how troubled I am; you have kept a record of my 

tears.

 Psalm 56:6 (Good News) 

He even recorded our tears! How cool is that? :-)

Trust, does it really exist?

Oh well, so much for being a new year, there's so much stress already..
I'm currently in my final degree year. There are only 2 subjects but i feel like dying already.
I'm doing action research and i can feel my head almost wanting to explode. :(
I LOVE research.. for fun, but i never thought the real one would be so difficult.
I couldn't sleep and eat well just thinking of the two words: action research...

Anyway,since it's the weekend i decided to give it a rest and cut some slack..
This girl needs a serious break!! >.<

It's been a while since I've thought about this word: Trust

I used to trust people, I used to, but that was all back in those good old days where people dont stab you at the back and use you for their convenience.
Now, i don't even dare to say that word out loud.
I wonder if it even exist anymore.
A few days back i started thinking of that fateful day when someone i was so close to abandoned me, took my for granted. How can i ever put my trust in that person anymore? I believe that was the breaking point for me. Since then, I just simply didn't trust in anyone anymore. I just go on with my life but deep down only God knows how hurt i was, and still am.

I searched the internet for the meaning of this word and it came out like this:

firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

I have been troubled since, so I started reading my faithful book called " Psalms to soothe a woman's heart"
I don't know why but i always feel that when i'm in trouble the book really helps me a lot! It's like magic you know. 
For example, when i'm facing this particular problem, i would just randomly flip to a page. But the amazing thing was the psalm and prayer was exactly what i needed. 

I take it that the Lord works in wonderful and mysterious ways. I don't know what else to think. Well, it's your opinion to judge.. 
Anyway, now my problem is with trust, so here is what i got and i want to share it:

"God guards you from every evil, he guards your very life. He guards you when you leave and when you return, he guards you now, he guards you always." -Psalm 121:7-8 MSG

Prayer: God, you know how difficult and upsetting my situation is. Help me to trust you in and through this. Nothing is impossible for you, and so my heart will rest in your care. Amen

I'm no saint and I can frankly say I could and perhaps am one of the worst sinners in the world. But in my sinful heart, there's this hope that prays for God's mercy to forgive me and that i will be the person he wants me to be.

Belated new year 2014

Happy new year!!! Since its still not yet February so i guess wishing happy new year is still valid ..
2013 was a fun and challenging year.
During the holidays was the most fun part because i get to do the things that i like most, my knitting and crocheting!!!

Below are some pictures of items which i have made.

(My own handmade crocheted pencil case, new year NEW things!!) :D 

(The three little pigs) 

(The little duckling with its puckered mouth) 

(The cute little mouse)

(This is my own pattern, Tigger, which i made for my sister since she requested it, like years ago and only during THIS holiday i had the time to make it for her, just in time for christmas, hence her Christmas gift)

(Miniature hello kitty, for my cousin which is a Hello Kitty maniac fan) hehe

(Rilakuma for my cousin who also happens to like this bear) 

(A sleeping sheep, it was supposed to be a gift to my dad but he said it look too MILD, so I made a goat for him instead, which is his zodiac) 

(This is a pouch that i sold) 

(another pouch in the shape of a duck) 

(This is my family, all the items which i have crocheted all this while, some were not in the picture because my mom already wrapped it, ready to give away) 

( This is the little goat for my dad) ^-^

I also celebrated Christmas at my dad's village in Serian. It was really fun because i got to meet all my cute nephews. It was as if yesterday they were just babies, but look at how big they are now. I guess I just didn't realise i was getting older as well.. Life is short and in no time all of them would be grown up and I'll be an old lady..

Life can be fulfilling, if you let it

Now's the year end holidays and I'm spending most of my time at home, helping with the house chores.
I've never felt so happy in my life before.
It seems the older i get the more sentimental i become. I feel so blessed to have a home to go to and my family is always with me.
I'm grateful for the little things i have, i don't come from a rich family but we are happy with what we have and we can still live.
Studying away from home taught me to love my loved ones more because i may not be able to see them often.
Now, my schedule in the morning will be sweeping and mopping, then i will prepare lunch.
In the afternoon, i will do crocheting and knitting, which is my hobbies.
At night, after dinner, i will read my favourite books, which i think will take me long time to finish as there are tonnes of them! I bought them at this second-hand bookstore and i was so happy because i really got a lot at a very reasonable price!!

(What i would do when i have nothing else to do) relax, loving the holidays

(Sometimes, i even read in bed, it's the best feeling ever because once you're tired you can sleep right away!!)

(Sometimes at night when i can't sleep, i would just be like this girl, sitting and looking outside my room's window, wondering about my what-if questions and looking at the stars in the sky, and if im lucky i could sometimes see the moon too, and it's light shining right into my room, if only i can follow the light, what an adventure it would be!!) 

I recently found out that life is too short, if i always spend it on revenges, then  my life will be hollow because all i feel is hatred, i want to feel love, be loved and explore the world before it's all too late) 

Good night and God bless!!! :)