Nothing is impossbile for HIM

Nothing is impossible for Him 

Today, or any days lately haven't been the best day of my life, i'm currently facing some problems,all doors seemed closed, i tried all possible methods. nothing worked out, depressed? of course, feel like crying, already did as a matter of fact. Then as i was about to do my daily devotional reading, i just opened my devotional book randomly, and out popped a verse that really made me so happy. Indeed the Lord is talking to me. I don't believe in coincidence, everything happens for a reason. 

Joshua 1:5 

"I will not leave you nor forsake you"

Just what i needed most. It is really comforting to know that the Lord is always with us even though we always think that He's not. I doubted too much because i'm really scared, i thought of a lot of what if questions. I can't bear to be alone. but i won't mind if my safety is assured. but who knows? Then, i opened my devotional note book, randomly too, guess what popped up next?

2 Chronicles 15:2

The Lord is with you when you are with Him. If you seek Him He will befound by you, but if you abandon Him, He will abandon you. 

Wow, strong statement. His words are truly alive. 

Now i should put rest my case and let HIM handle it for me. I've used up all my human strength and now He asks me to let Him steer the wheel. Thank you Lord. Now, i could use some good night sleep.. Bye and God bless~~ till next time..

That weird feeling

That weird feeling

Cant seem to shake off this particular feeling. I guess i've lost it. haha. but then, this feeling doesn't seem wrong, it's normal for everyone of us to feel it, i think. You know that feeling when you are doing something you feel that someone is watching you, that person is right in front of you. But then, you think to yourself again ,"Nah,how is it possible?" but that person seems to be sending off zillions of signals saying that she/he is looking right at you. Is that infatuation? I'm not sure and i dont think i have the courage to know the answer either, because it all comes back to square one, you're thinking too much or it's true and that person is too embarrassed to admit it. Hmm, here comes the difficult part, what if... ahh...that person is someone you like? or admire perhaps. Well, im kind of facing this kind of situation,not to mention who,but then i always think to myself, how is it possible? i'm...not that pretty. and maybe i was just thinking too much, maybe he WAS looking at my direction but at something totally different than what i was thinking about. Well, our minds are so complex most of the time. 

Sports carnival

Everyone seems so busy today, well of course they should, because its the sports carnival. Just this morning we had foot drilling competition and in the afternoon we had first-aid competition. It was so tiring, i wasn't involved in any of the competition but i must be there, reason:moral support. Yea right. It was mental torture to me. Anyway, i'm proud of my own uniform body. I'm about to contribute my part this coming Wednesday, im going for the exhibition part. and im starting to regret it because i dont talk much and im afraid i would get nervous and my tongue would get twisted. i really give my problems to the Lord,but i will do my best to revise all that i can. Well, i think i should go now. God bless~~

How great Love is

1 Corinthians 13:13

So these three things continue forever:faith,hope and love. And the greatest of these is love. 

Yup, i totally agree. Love is what gets the world moving. The love we get from our Lord is so great that its like a cup overflowing with never-ending of love and care from the Lord. 

I always took everything for granted until i lose everything, because i never knew how lucky i was. Now, after reconciling, i learnt a lot from my past and that's what make me who i am today. 

I will never be a perfect person because He is still molding me in His liking. But i know that He is always with me. I get comfort from Him each and every day from His words. I feel re-charged after each devotional each night. 

I know my life doesnt reflect a real christian, but im trying to change that.I guess only those who knows me know why i'm doing what i'm doing. Others on the outside just judge as if they know everything about me. (But, i must look over this issue because its not important) God is the real judge, not me or you. 

Im grateful for the many blessings the Lord has bestowed upon my life. For my family, their love and support is so great. my crazy friends,and everyone i met on the journey of my life. 

Just now, i was just listening to some oldies song, and one of the lyrics really caught my attention, i forgot what the title of the song was,but here's the catchy part, "all this while i was searching for love at the wrong place"

It was so right! I always get disappointed when something does not go my way. And i thought, maybe God doesn't love me anymore,but i was so wrong. I then came to realise that God's way is not like our way. A priest once said that, we should not order God to do this and that, what we SHOULD do is place our PROBLEMS to God, not the solution, and God will know what to do. 

I started to get back up, smiled at my problems, and said, "I can go through this, with His help." Now, i surrender my all to the Lord and i find life more relaxing,but of course, the storms in our lives still appear, but with Him, we can be assured that we will be safe in His care. 

Talking about love, i'm excited. waiting for the perfect timing isnt an easy task. But i'm willing to wait until the Lord says,"He's just for you".. Cant wait for that time to come.. sometimes i feel as if its coming nearer, but then nothing happens, oh well, i really hope i will know when that day really comes. Better get going. Night and God bless~~

Selfishness

It's been so long since I've last wrote. Hmm.. And the blogging has changed! @.@ .. Can't express my shock, at fist i thought i was in another world or what. . haha..
My exams is next week and I'm studying like what, until i fell sick. i guess i pushed myself too much, i must think of the Lord too and ask for his protection and His guidance so i will not pressure myself too much. Anyway, i'm grateful because my fever has gone down, now i'm only left with an itchy throat and cough.
I think that a lot of people are getting more and more selfish each day, they only live to satisfy their own needs and they don't care if they hurt others. I'm really disappointed in them and i feel like crying but from today onwards i will keep everything to myself and i won't trust anyone with my problems and secrets because once in their hands its no longer a secret. I thought you promised not to tell other people, how could you? I'm not angry but sad with you. Nevermind, i don't mind what had happen (a little, i guess), and i will not trust you anymore. Because you asked for it.
I just can't wait to go back to my family, this place I'm staying here now is like an emotional CAMP. I seriously think i can go cuckoo anytime, if its not for the Lord, i think i have long entered the asylum.. So i'm thankful for everything that happened and from there i will learn from my mistakes and will not fall into the pit for the second time. I'm a straight forward person and that's why a lot of people dislike me, but i'm still alive despite your curses and bad words.
I really miss my friends who could understand me for who i really am and not condemn me without any solid proof. But they are so far away from me now. Like they said, "we are only friends. F.R.I.E.N.D.S " mere friends, weird right? we've known each other for almost 3 years already. Ok, the statement was really hurtful but i take it as it is, i will also treat you the same way, but the thing is i can't, to me everyone is important but its so saddening that the other party doesn't think that way, they think that i'm pestering with their lives. I'M SORRY. Because i didn't know that all this while i have been a pain in the neck for you all.
But i won't give up, although all my close friends are away from me, i will still continue to search for friends who will understand me. :) Need to revise now. Bye and God bless~~

At the end of the day

I have always been complaining about the bad things but i never notice good things when it comes my way. For my school based experience, i went to SK Garland. At first, i wasn't quite happy because the school is located so far from my house and i have to wake up very early to go to the school before the traffic jam starts. I have to wake up at 5am and start off the journey of 20 minutes at 6:05am. Wow, even in my campus i won't wake up that early. I guess its a practice for being a teacher next time.

On the first day, it was quite nervous and i couldnt sleep the night before but of course i woke up energised. haha.. Then, as the day passes, laziness began to sweep over me and in no time, i lose the motivation but still i force myself to wake up so i was never late to school, in fact, I'm always the earliest!

For my assignment, I was required to carry out a lesson I have planned on a class. On monday i asked the year 5 teacher and i am really grateful to her because she is the most optimistic teacher i have ever seen and she was so happy to hand over the class for me to conduct the lesson, which was the part i was most afraid of @.@

I thought she would want to teach the lesson but it didn't turn out as i hoped. So my class was to be on Friday and i had ample time, but on the other hand, ample time to alter my lesson plan, and believe me, i really DID alter it and i even tried to imagine how the lesson would be when i conducted the lesson.

However, it was totally different when i REALLY conducted the lesson, already the teacher before me took 10 minutes of my precious time so i didn't have time to do my activity in peace. And the class a mess! As in the pupils were so noisy and seriously i just wanted to get out and cry, but i fought back that feeling and continued on. the thing was, most of the pupils i find, cannot understand english. and it was very sad. and my voice was nothing compared to them!! As a last resort, i have to whisper in BM to them so they could know what's going on. But the thing is, once they understand, they will really cooperate and so, i was also happy. Since, i cannot finish the lesson in time, i had to hold them back during recess and it was so difficult to keep them silent. I think they did enjoy the poem though some did not because they either found it boring or their speed of reading is quite slow.

Overall, it wasn't as bad as i thought, but i must really improve on my voice projection and classroom management .. :)

That's all, i just want to share a few photos from my SBE .. God bless~~

I'm innocent

I dont know much about life but what i do know is that it sucks when foolish people keep on spreading lies about you that isn't at all true. I hate it and now since i'm facing it i feel like crying. I don't know what happen but all of a sudden, this person A seems to despise me every moment i see him. The person who badmouthed me should really be punished.. Oh, how i wish and wish her mouth will rot and will be filled with maggots. Acting innocent might help you through life but with God, you're nothing but rubbish. Judging people is a sin, but badmouthing? Come on, you should know who you're messing with. I know i cannot undo what has been done, but i will always pray that one day, the table will turn around and by then, see who's the last one who's laughing. I bet when you're the victim you won't be wanting to smile at all.

I don't know why this type of people must exist. They twist every words that come out of your mouth so it would seem foul and rude when it comes to the ears of other people. You can run from God but you cannot hide from Him. I just feel so demotivated now. I don't want people to dislike me but with the existence of this type of human being, how could you not hate them? It's really the devil's work in getting us further away from God.

Hence, in this season of fasting and penance, I pray that God will give me the strength i need to fight off all these useless things and no matter what happens, i will always have trusted friends beside me who really understand me and not judge me from other people's point of view. Amen.

Trust no one, sadness no more

Well, actually you can't exactly banish sadness because it's like blended in our life already. Trusting in people nowadays only lead to sadness that only oneself can understand.

I'd rather not trust in any human at all. There's too much burden to bear. Enough with being a hypocrite and what more to say "poker face" ..

I can't live a lie anymore, I'm tired of everything already.Nothing was ever right. Lies will come out eventually even if you try to cover them up. Darkness will always be overcome by light. When it comes, i can't wait to see all your dark secrets exposed by the light.

I was a fool thinking that trusting someone and confiding in someone would be so simple. But it wasn't. Well, everyone makes mistake, I'm not saying anyone, but generally i believe we do face this difficulty in some parts of our lives and we can't deny the hurt it caused us. No matter how time heals, there will always be a scar and if we always repeat the same mistake, the scar will only deepen and increase our pain.

How i wish i could leave this earth. I want to find rest. Sleeping is no good because it is only temporary. I want to rest eternally in the arms of God. I can't bear all these myself. Help me Lord..