When friends become strangers

It is weird. We were never that close although we hang out in the same circle.
After graduating we went our own ways and eventually never contacted anymore.
It hurts all the same because I don't know why she dislikes me. She is famous and well known. Unlike me, the kermit.
She likes it when people praise her, but it must never happen to me. But it did, I had better scores than her, obviously, even though I am just a poor girl's daughter. I am trying not to bad mouth her but it hurts.
Well, time flies and I believe we parted ways because there is nothing to hold on to anymore.
I never see her since working and the one time we DID meet it was damn awkward!!!
Rather NOT have these so-called gatherings anymore.
When friends become strangers, better leave it that way. If they were sincere, they wouldn't have left in the first place. Right?

Fun time is over, welcome back to the working realm

Holidays jusy flew by.
Work work work, eh?

(Recess time: a cup of hot coffee and homemade bread)

(Work never rest. Back to routine job.. not just teaching but other work as well, such as ... stock recording) 

Have a good week ahead.. amen. 

Mid-term holidays: Part 2

One month passes by swiftly. This is the final week before I go back to school, again.
Well, I need to shake off this feeling and be happy that I still got a job.
This holiday has taught me a lot.
I improved on my baking skills and I learnt to be grateful for the things I have and appreciate people I love and care about. Life is really too short to hate. I still dislike some people but I have made it a point to love my loved ones harder.
I don't want to regret anything when they are gone later. There is just so much to do but so little time. Time that I used to hate people should really stop. Easier said than done. But I will do my best.
Here are some updates on what I did: 😄

(Making pizza 😄)

(My first father's day cake, my first success. Not as soft as the cake sold in stores and the cream still needs improvement, but overall I was happy and it was yummy too)

(The chocolate cake before decorating it)

(Known as Biskut sarang semut, so difficult to make due to its delicate process, the dough is easy to make but the process is gruesome and i had cuts on my fingers, wrong technique maybe but the result was worth it)

(Went out for yummy dessert)

(Done making the dough and putting it in the paper cup)

It was a great holiday for me. I have improved so much since the last time I baked. 😄😄

Mid-term holidays: Part One

This is the longest holiday and I really ran out of ideas of what to do ...
Here are some pictures of what I did for the past two weeks...

(A dessert known as "dadih", like pudding but it's not, nice when put in the fridge) 

(A shopping mall just opened and the food there was heavenly!! Managed to grab some japanese food) 

(Takoyaki 😋)

(Started to knit again, I'm really not sure what to make, cushion cover or a sweater?) 

(Muffins, which really didnt look like the display picture!!) 

(Bread, after failures upon failures, I FINALLY MADE IT!!)

(SO SOFT and the texture is just right. A huge achivement for me) 🙄 

Part Two coming soon... 😃

Question answered: What if I met the right person at the wrong time?

I just recently came across a picture shared in the social media about this question.
It got me pondering for sometime. And I guess the answer is actually quite straightforward.
It means that the person is not ready.
There is no right or wrong time.
It just happens, without us realising.
I can't help but think maybe I have met him before but the timing is just not right yet.
How can we be sure?
What if we disregard the timing, assuming he is the one but actually isnt?
That is why I really believe in God's timing.
If it is meant to be, the timing will always be right.
Or maybe he really is the one, but the timing just isn't right, and forcing our way into a relationship like that is not going to help us.
(I am starting to jumble up my words) xD

Well, I guess the main point is, trust God.
If He want it to happen, it will....
Till then, pray to grow closer to God and wait....

(Pray first, that is what the Lord wants us to do)

(Naturally it will happen if it is God's will)

His love is real

Went to church today and the reading was about Gos's love.
Just what I needed to hear.
How Jesus asked us to love each other as He has loved us.
We did not choose Him, He chose us. This is something I need to remember now more than ever.
The song that caught my attention the most was "Think about his love" and below is the lyric: just wanted to share how captivating and heartwarming the song is.

Think About His Love

This song is by Don Moen and appears on the Compilation WoW Worship Green (2001).

Think about His love
Think about His goodness
Think about His grace
That's brought us through
For as high as the heavens above
So great is the measure
Of our Father's love

Great is the measure
Of our Father's love
So great is the measure
Of our Father's love

How could I forget His love
And how could I forget His mercy
He satisfies 
Satisfies
He satisfies
Satisfies
He satisfies my desires

Think about His love
Think about His goodness
Think about His grace
That's brought us through
For as high as the heavens above
So great is the measure
Of our Father's love

Great is the measure
Of our Father's love

Written by:

Walt Harrah  God's love is so great. Beyond great. Matthew 6:33  New Living Translation Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.  Slowly but surely I am letting go of my desire and focusing on Him only. 😀😀  Happy blessed Sunday.

Sensitive people are rare

Sensitive people are really special people.
The feel deeply, they love deeply and they get hurt easily too.
It took me some time to accept I am one of them.
I saw it as a weakness because I always trust easily, only to be used and hurt multiple times.
I am still searching,
For a genuine friendship
A love worth waiting for
I guess I have searched at the wrong places and trusted wrong people.
I always think to myself, when I meet someone else they would be different, but they were all the same.
Their friendship only lasts as long as they needed me.
I give too much, I am too loyal.
In society I can be labelled as a fool.
I refused to believe it, but as time passes, I learnt the hard way that good people nowadays are like finding a needle in a haystack.
I saw this on Facebook and it just struck me, because it was exactly what was on my mind.

Shared from Facebook (A gleam of dreams)

Sensitive people are the most genuine and honest people you will ever meet. There is nothing they won’t tell you about themselves if they trust your kindness. However, the moment you betray them, reject them or devalue them, they will end the friendship. They live with guilt and constant pain over unresolved situations and misunderstandings.

They are tortured souls that are not able to live with hatred or being hated. This type of person needs the most love anyone can give them because their soul has been constantly bruised by others. However, despite the tragedy of what they have to go through in life, they remain the most compassionate people worth knowing and the ones that often become activists for the broken-hearted, forgotten and the misunderstood. They are angels with broken wings that only fly when loved.. 🌿❤️



I know life is hard. I know sometimes you feel like giving up: on people and on yourself. I know you have good days and bad days but more bad than good or so it seems. I know everyday you question yourself “what is this all for?” ,”am I making the right choices?” or “am I supposed to be here, now?”. I know you have more questions than answers and most of the time you don’t even know how to explain them.

I know life is hard, but you have to keep going. You have to rise above the waters of your soul, and bloom, no matter how hot the fire is. No matter how many arrows you carry on your back, believe me, you’re a warrior. You’re a soldier filled with both pain and love. And life, well, life is just another beast you were meant to tame and there is no one better for the job, other than you.. 🌿

So now I have learnt, I MUST learn to love myself. Because no one will do it for me. In this world where love is scarse and trust is like an alien word, I must learn to pick myself up and be more independent than ever. But in my heart, I never give up and secretly pray to find the one person I believe God will let me meet when the time is right. The person that will love me, and have my trust and he/she can trust me too. Be it a friend or my other half, I believe there are also people like me who are waiting for something genuine in this broken world.

When it gets too tiring

When life gets  too tiring, learn to slow down and relax. Do something that could help you relax.
For me, it is through reading verses from the bible.
And hobbies such as reading and crafting.
Now I have a new place, the library.
Sometimes, we need time to recuperate.

I like to think of nothing at times.
To just let everything go for a while, and move into my safe haven.

Then, I would get up again and start my journey.
Life is filled with so many unpredictable things, we cannot predict everything. So that is why we get tired.
Tired of trying to make everyone happy, but at the end of the day, does anyone care about your feelings?
If no, then you are trying too hard.
Let go and let God handle it.
We are humans, we are not meant to please people.
We are created to please and praise God.

Everything in this life leads to one realisation, the realisation that God is the only One that can fulfill us.
He is the One to go to when we feel tired and hopeless.

I rememberer a saying,
"Life doesn't give us a purpose, we give life a purpose".
It is true. When I started to think like that, everything became clear.
Nothing can harm us if we did not allow it in the first place.
Of course, we cannot avoid deaths and sickness, but the mind plays an important role in how we decide to react to the current situation.
Do we let Life ruin us? Or we give life a new purpose, which is to be happy and grateful for the many blessings that God had given throughout our life?
I have learnt it the hard way.
It took me a long while before I started counting my blessings. All I could think of were the bad things that happened to me. I ignored the blessings and blame Him for giving me a lousy life.
But now, I realised the "bad things" were a blessing in disguise.
Instead of complaining, now I decided to do my best and let the talent that God gave me be put into good use.
Instead of asking "why this happened to me?", now I throw Life a purpose, "I will do my best in my workplace and learn instead of complaining".
My journey is still long so I always need to remind myself that when life gets tiring, I should look back at my past to see how far I have gone and it would be too bad to give up now.

The blue umbrella

I was walking at Kaison in Kuching the other day, when I saw this huge poster.
Immediately I remembered the story.
It was a short clip but it was so sweet.
The mixed emotions of happiness, sadness and frustration were all included.
The title was "the blue umbrella".
About a blue umbrella in search for his " love".
I am suddenly reminded about timing, again.
It's been a long wait.
But I guess seeing this picture gave me hope.
That one day, like the blue umbrella, we will meet.
And even though we would face many hardships ans tribulations, we would always somehow find our way back to each other.

Sandwich time!!!

Just looking through old posts and found these wonderful pictures.
Back in early Jan 2018.
(Currently teaching English Year 5 and there was a topic about making sandwich)
So I thought, why not?
I bought the ingredients and asked them to make it themselves.
They certainly loved it, but the taste of the egg mix was not quite there yet. 😅

(Peeling the egg shells)

Waiting for their turn to make their very own egg sandwich)

(My own egg sandwich) 😁

Teaching is fun when we do things outside of the normal lessons.

They still remember it to this very day and asked for more. But I told them we just have to wait for a perfect opportunity because this is now the Sports and carnival seasons. 

More activities like this soon. 😁😁

Baking time

I always love holidays!!
It is always the time to relax, and do things that I enjoy most!
This holiday, I decided to make chicken pie and egg tarts.

(Chicken pie, mini size)

(Egg tarts) 

I just love baking... 😁😁
Simply too many hobbies to keep up with.
Well, it was a well spent holiday at home.

Throwback 2017: KL trip

It was last year that I went on a trip to KL and I really saved a lot of money thanks to the public transports.
I did some research before going there and I am really grateful that I could go to all those places and of course, come back in one piece.

All these are a blessing from God. I dont know when I am going to have the chance to go there again so I am grateful for this trip. Next trip would be a better one!! 

Solo trip can be difficult, especially when taking pictures, but with the help of good people and selfie stick, I think I can survive) 😊 

Crochet rabbit for easter

I have been too busy studying and finally now that I have finished my studies, I can now get back to my hobby of doing crafts.
This Easter season I came up with a rough idea to make an Easter bunny.

(It took me about a week plus to finish it, along with the basket and easter eggs, the dress was made by my mom, sewed, not crochet) 

It is still not too late to wish everyone a Happy Easter!!

Our lord is risen! Halleluiah!! 

Ancient magus bride review

It's been a while since I have watched animes thanks to my heavy workload.

I started watching this anime since last year and have just finished it recently (24 episodes) 

It is better to read the manga before watching the anime since the animation is always shorter. 

But both are really worth reading and watching!!! 

I fell for the main lead(male) character, Elias Ainsworth. His origin is unknown till the end of the anime (with only a few clues such as he was a failed experiment). He does not have emotions, but since he bought Chise at an auction, he learnt a lot about humans and feelings. 

For me I like how sweet they are together. 

He looks scary but once you get to know him, he is different 

(Really love the both of them) 

Chise sold herself at an auction as she had lost the will to live, always thinking that she was the reason her family fell apart and her mother killed herself, she kept blaming herself and ended up selling herself, no longer living, luckily Elias found her first!) 

Her father and little brother just disappeared, living her with her mom. Her mom was also like her, but it wasnt her fault that her mom eventually took her own life) 

(This is the house they live in, really love it. It is like my dream home now. With ample space, fresh air, beautiful flowers, I couldnt ask for more) 

The soundtrack for this anime was just so nice!!

Performed by Junna, the opening theme song entitled "Here" was just so moving and emotional. 

The other songs were also great, but Junna's song was just great. 

I really recommend watching this anime, great characters and great songs. 

Though the anime was quite confusing, such as some of the characters just appeared and then disappeared, I would really like to know more about them or what happened to them after that, but overall it is still a great anime!

Enjoy the show!! 

While waiting

Waiting...
What are we waiting for?
A better tomorrow?
A future spouse?
A promotion?
An unfulfilled promise?

Whatever it is, I think the best we can do while waiting is to pray.
There is nothing to lose.
Whisper a simple prayer.
God is always listening.

For me, waiting has its good and bad times.
Good is when I feel closer to God because while waiting I spend a lot of my time talking to Him, discussing my future and asking for constant guidance.

The bad is when the wait could sometimes take a toll on me and I feel abandoned and all is hopeless.
When is this wait going to end?

Until now I am still waiting.
Waiting for so many things.
But like they say, keep it to yourself.
Don't tell others because most probably it would not happen.
It has been a long wait but I have nothing to lose but to keep on waiting.
It is the process of waiting that made me grow up, the hard way mostly.
However, I decide to think on the bright side, despite it all I still survived, so I should be thankful because through numerous falls, I got up, once again, and I became much stronger and wiser.

People come and go.
It is also during this waiting period especially, that we really see them for who they are.
Some are encouraging and would pray for your happiness, while some would pretend to comfort you, but secretly they wish that you will NEVER get what you prayed for and some even wish you would be destoyed because their jealousy of you is too deep beyond comprehension.
These types can be easily detected through their attitudes and words that constantly bring you down, making you think that you are never good enough and you would never get your hapiness.
I've come across all three types of people. But they are just a passing trial. It will pass, so we have to be strong
Even though our wait will eventually end, let us never forget the One that has been and always will be with us.

When it gets too hard to bear the waiting period, tell God. Let Him calm you.
I did the same and I'm still doing it. I would read verses to comfort my heart, when all seems hopeless and I feel I am waiting for something that would never come.
And I would get up again and resume my journey.
The wait is never easy. But once we reach our destination, it will be worth it (I am always counting om this promise when I feel down)
So, what would you do while waiting today?

Be happy, and you will be

It has really been a while since I have last posted anything.
Many things have happened along my life's journey.
Anyway, through it all, I am still alive and for that I am grateful.
Some of the things I want to share is that,
"At the moment where we feel everything is too overwhelming, stop for a while. Breathe deeply and think. Is all this worth it? That you should sacrifice your happiness for others?
They don't even care about you.
So, stop. In every matter, no matter what you are going through, there is always a choice,
To be BITTER or BETTER...
Now I always ask myself before I decide whether to let my thoughts influence my decisions.
When I decided to be happy, I am.
I just think that they did what they did because it is in their nature. You can't control how people treat you, but you can definitely control how YOU decide to react to that situation.
At work, I am always given extra workload with reasons such as I am a trustworthy person and the others can't be trusted.
Let's just say it is because you are too hardworking for your own good, well, what's wrong? If you are happy, then just accept it. Take it as you are learning something new. Or else, you would just sulk and be moody. But, if I am really too busy, I also learnt how to SAY NO!!
We always have a choice.
It is something we need to remember, especially in times of hardship and sadness.
Chooose happiness and nothing the devil do can make you fall.
Choose to be bitter and blame God and the devil scores a point.
I have had so many lessons throughout the years and it really makes me think a lot more before I decide to do something.
I am still learning. I still get mad. I still complain. But now I know it is all within me.
We all have a choice.
So, what choice would you make today?