Absence makes the heart grows fonder, really?

I guess it doesn't apply to everyone we know.
Sometimes its better NOT to be in someone's life or be far away from that person especially if all that person has done is to hurt you, unless you're a sadistic person, so I have no further comment.

Sometimes, this quote could be somewhat true, as most of the time it applies to our loved ones, especially when we are far away from them. So when we meet them again, we love them and appreciate them even more.

For my part, I would say this quote doesn't really make sense in my life. I guess I never really like someone till being away from them would only make me love them more. One could say I am a very heartless person. Oh well, I won't deny it. Throughout my life, no one really earned that position, you could say they misuse it. At first, I thought I would miss them when we were going to be apart, but things just change so rapidly.
In a blink of an eye, they have found a NEW best friend and they act as if they do not know me at all.
Welcome to my life. I am still searching for that special someone though. My heart yearns for that feeling, I don't really know what it's like to miss someone so badly.

A good authentic example was during a class farewell dinner. Everyone was sobbing and near tears, as we were never going to meet each other again. I tried, believe me, to be touched and cry, but no tears came out. Personally, I don't feel that i will miss any of them. True, they are friends, but that's that. Anyway, I feel that absence from someone's life is a good thing. It gives you time to think things through, whether that person is really worth missing or not. So far, I don't think anyone is worth my tears, after all they've put me through, I say ADIOS!!

I don't care if I don't have anyone near me because I prefer a sincere friend than people who try to be my friend just to get something out of it.

(Me... waiting for that someone) ^-^

(I do have people who I am missing right now, and those are friends, though a few but they have been with me through thick and thin, and indeed, Absence DO makes the heart grows fonder) ^-^

completed knitting project

So previously I had wanted to knit socks as presents for my family. Finally I have finished all four pairs of them. Oh well, I hope they would like it. I love the colours, though. I haven't knitted one for myself and I am thinking of knitting more as I am starting to have other people in mind. :)

Have a blessed holiday season and God bless ~.~

Place of interest: Celeste, Texas

Actually I've never been there, but I love writing stories and I randomly thought of writing a story where the setting was in Texas. I searched for small towns and found this!

I chose this place, because believe it or not, the main character in the story was also named Celeste!! So, i checked the internet and this was what I got.
 Celeste is a town just outside Dallas. I discovered that there was this really neat quilt shop there. I also obtained some pictures of the town. It was quite old but how should I know because I never visited that place anyway. Although given the chance I would really love to go there so that I could get more hands-on information.

(This is the quilt shop i was talking about, this picture is not mine and no copyright intended)

I've always loved writing stories. Sadly, none of them were ever published. I could never finish the stories I've started and also I lose the inspiration to write quite quickly. Now that I have finished my studies and all I have is time, I would really like to start writing again. So far, I've come up with a storyline and characters.

The place would definitely be in Texas, but I guess I have to change the name so that it wouldn't get me in trouble. However, the place would still be somewhat like Celeste. I'm not a real writer after all, I'm just someone who loves to write because it's what I love doing most.

Brynhildr in the Darkness review

This is another anime that i have watched with my sister. It is about witches that have super power. I was thinking they were better suited with super humans, but why the term "witches"??

(This is the girl with the blue hair, her name is Kuroneko)

Anyway, the story is about a group of witches that were running away from a lab which they were created from.

The graphics were quite gory too.. Because when the witches ran out of a certain pill, they would start to bleed and eventually melt and die.

(A witch which was paralysed because of too many experiments)

The main character, which was a guy, could be said to be very lucky because all of the witches were girls. However, he only had feelings for the girl with the blue hair. This was because she looked like his childhood friend that passed away when he was young, which of course was true. The girl denied knowing him because she often lost her memories when she used too much of her powers.

(Her superpower is being able to manipulate technology things so she could hack into any system)

In the end, the girl remembered but it was only for a while as she used too much of her powers.

Deadman Wonderland review

Since I watched Tokyo ghouls, I remembered an anime i watched quite a while ago that seems to be a bit similar: Deadman wonderland.
The ending of this anime also left me hanging.
It was a story of a boy who was sentenced to death because of something he did not commit: Mass killing.

Why i said it's the same, it's because it had some connection to blood.
At first i thought he was just lucky to be alive, but then it got suspicious. He was alive because the person that killed the others knew him. That person was known as "Wretched Egg".

He started to have this super ability to do awesome things with his blood. But when he used too much of it, he would get anemic.

It was called "Deadman wonderland" because it indeed was a wonderland and the performers were those that were facing death-roll sentence. It was quite scary and of course involved a lot of blood.

(Apparently, not all of them that were in the death-roll had that ability, they would be tested and those that disappear all of a sudden was actually taken away. The boy, which was the main character was in fact very powerful because he had the power of the "wretched egg" in him. The picture above are some of the important characters, some good some bad. The good ones then made plans to escape the living hellhole for good).

This time of year AGAIN

It's this time of the year again. This festive season, a season of forgiving and love.
Oh well, it seems everyone, I think is so in the mood for Christmas. Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas but it's about buying gifts that's making me scared. There goes my money.
I try to budget this year but I hope not to disappoint anyone, with the increasing price of stuffs now, it would be even harder to buy things.

Finally, I have finished my degree course. It's been a while now, and I feel so happy because everything ended well. I hope that there would be nothing left because i would hate to go back and settle them.
Anyways, it's been so many memorable, thinking back all those years.
There were a lot of sad ones which i prefer to leave it in the past. And of course happy ones so that I could remember when I'm old later.

Here's some pictures which my sisters and I had taken in the Spring shopping mall during our SISTERly outing..

(My third sister and I, the background was very pretty, it feels magical, with all the shiny and blinking lights hanging down the tree)

(My youngest sister and I, still the same background. I just felt so happy at the time because the atmosphere was just soo.. merry)...

Since now all I have is time, I started doing the thing i like most: KNITTING. 

I started to knit socks again and they are going to be for my family. I did mention that it's expensive to buy things so why not do my own thing? It's the thought that counts. :) My sisters are in fact excited about it.. 

(The first pair of green socks are already done)

(Now for the second sock, red socks!!! Can't wait to finish it)

Tokyo ghouls review

It's finally the holiday season again.. And yes, I'm indulging myself in watching anime with my sister.

Tokyo ghouls?
AWESOME!!!!!
It's a story about a boy who turned into a half ghoul because of a weird accident. There, his journey began and the he to try his best to survive and be sane at the same time.

I guess I just love watching anime with lots of blood. Hahah, kidding. Most of the time the GORY parts were being sensored and so my sister and I were actually watching black screens.

The storyline was nice because it depicts the life of a normal teenage boy turned ghoul. Luckily he found a secret society where he won't have to kill humans to survive. :)

(He became a one-eyed ghoul. He became that way because a crazy doctor implanted organs of a deceased ghoul into him and therefore he became half human and half ghoul. However, he could no longer live a normal human life, for example, eat human food.)

(These are the characters in the story, although not ALL of them are in there but i guess they are the main characters of the story)

WARNING: Those who have weak hearts are not encouraged to watch this anime. 

(My favourite character HAS GOT to be this guy!!! His name is Uta. He's a mask maker. Although he doesn't appear much, but he's so cool!!!! I love his eyes and hairstyle)

Sad to say, the story leaves us on a cliffhanger (hope i'm saying this right), the final episode was so very frustrating because it ended just like that, I felt I was left hanging on mid-air just like that. Now my sister and I have to wait for the 2nd season, which will be airing on January 9, 2015. 

Well, it's not too far away. But by that time i will be busy with so many things, it is a new year anyway. 

Gotta go.. :)

Journey to Mount Kinabalu

On 27th - 28th October 2014, I went on this extreme, torturous and most wonderful adventure.
With a group of friends, we climbed Mount Kinabalu.
It started out fine, suddenly rain poured heavily until we reached "Laban Rata".
However, what people said were true, we should ignore the difficulties we are facing and instead admire the work of God.
The scenery's beauty was beyond words. It was simply gorgeous!!
It took us 6 hours plus to reach "Laban Rata" from the first checkpoint (Timpohon Gate).
The journey was 6km, but even 1km was more than enough for me. I could not believe how i could reach 6km. Praise be to God.

Upon reaching Laban Rata, we went to our rooms, dried ourselves, bathed and ate.
We slept around 7pm as we needed to wake up at 1 plus AM to begin our final challenge, climbing to the peak.

On the way to the peak, it was even more challenging and only God knows how many times i wanted to give up, but i was already half way there, so, like it or not, i had to continue on my journey.

At around 6am, we reached 8km. Then we continued to 8.5km, going towards the peak.

Halfway through the peak(already reached 8.5km by then), I stopped, and i told God, "Okay, this is as far as I could go". Another reason was that when i was trying to go up, many people were coming down, so i couldn't continue to go up (I think this is a sort of self-pity feeling) But, since I was already up at the mountain, I was given the coloured certificate, thank you Lord. :) Perhaps, if given another chance, THAT time i would try to reach the peak.

(My friend and I outside Laban rata, the rain just stopped)

(Drinking hot coffee Laban Rata before going off to sleep)

(finally reached 8km)

(The peak, still dark at the time)

(I would never forget this peak, known as "The ugly sister peak" amazing sunrise)

(Identifying the peak through RM100)

(Halfway through, my Sarawak flag mission accomplished)

(On the way down already, amazing scenery, the fog just came in like that, creepy yet magical)

(The fog coming in fast, so most of us started our journey back to Laban Rata)

(Final picture of the peak before going down to Laban Rata, the sun was up by then, heavenly view)

THE day

Today is THE day for me.
Yea, it was the day I was born, 14.10.1991

I want to thank God that I have lived on this earth for 23 years now..
Through thick and thin, i have survived this far.
Without You Lord, i won't be where I am now.

My story for today is funny yet memorable.
Today is the second day for the Kursus Pergigian that we are required to attend.
The previous day we had teeth check-up and there was this competition on who has the most beautiful teeth.
I wasn't too enthusiastic because my front teeth is not closed properly, I mean there is space in between my front teeth, even my sister said she could insert a 50 cents coin into my mouth through it..

Oh well, i still went for the check-up anyway, because my LAST check-up was when i was in PRIMARY school. Imagine how long it was, almost 10 years!

I was surprised that the nurse praised me, but i had to floss my teeth and take good care of my wisdom tooth, which i thought i did, but actually no (she told me that i didn't brush it properly)

So, i followed their style of brushing teeth, and i got bleeding gum instead. = = ''

Today, they presented all the presents and awards. AND guess what? It's my birthday..

Suddenly, the announcer asked my friend for my full name, and they all started laughing..
I was then secretly informed that i was the "Puteri Gigi".. OMG

Yea, I can't believe it myself because when they re-checked my teeth, i heard "Plak".. Meaning it was dirty. So I didn't give any hope at all.

It's such a wonderful gift and i would never forget this year. I really want to thank God for giving me this special gift. Thank you Lord.. :)

(Me and my mini bouquet)

(My gift from God)

New songs new motivation

Music is my life. I can't live without music. When there's no music, I would naturally hum to myself some random tunes.. :D

So, one of my favourite English bands has come up with a new album!!! Imagine the thrill. I haven't heard from them for quite a while now..

They are Lady Antebellum.. :) Really love and enjoy their songs, I first heard about them from their song "Need you now" and had been crazy about them ever since.

1. Bartender
Great song!! Catchy and really meaningful lyrics.

2. I did with you
Really love the lyric of the song. The best line is "Love is the reason why miracles never die"..

Another one is Carrie Underwood.. :)

1. Something in the water (Amazin grace, how sweet the sound)
- Song with a deep meaning, I always loved her song for being about Christianity and God's love (it's seldom that people sing Christian songs anymore because most of them wants popularity, if you know what I mean), and most of her songs really helped me through some tough times, it motivated me and kept me moving forwards.

Be yourself

There are times you hate yourself.
There are times you wish you weren't born, so there would be no problems at all.
There are times, you feel you can't go on anymore.
That's life. It's a roller-coaster, a wheel of fortune.
Nothing is permanent, we won't be sad forever, nor will we be happy forever.
That's how things work.
So, we must learn to appreciate happy times and catch hold on it when we face difficult times.
That's how you will survive the dark tunnel.

Like what God said,
He never promised life would be easy, but He promised to be by our side the whole time. No matter what. period.


Be yourself, do not change just to satisfy others, because at the end of the day, you will lose what's most important to you, and that is you yourself, your true self. Do not imitate others just so that you would be popular, it is temporary. You would only hurt yourself more.

If they don't like you, leave them. They are not worth your worry. God has a more important mission for you. Never pity yourself. Throw that self-pity away, pray for God's strength and wisdom.
Let the Lord avenge for you. :)

My new favourite: Holly Starr

I was browsing Youtube for new songs. Then I found hers. It was like it was meant to be. I was feeling rather low due to something I'm going through. The first song was "Through my father's eyes" and the second one was "God is".
Her song spoke what I was exactly feeling and I thank God for showing me her songs. It seems He's talking to me through her songs. Now, I am revived and listening to her songs every day. :)
Can't get tired listening to it over and over again.
Her lyrics are so meaningful.
(Through my father's eyes)
So many days I listen to the voice inside my head
I never thought that I'd be someone who could be misled
I wanted the mirror to show me something I could not see
I needed explanations for expectations I could never reach

I know I'm not the only one who's ever cried for help
And Jesus did for me what I could not do myself

He changed my life, I'm changing my mind
He healed all that was broken inside
I'm loving what I can see with His spirit alive in me
I'm finding beauty for the first time
Looking through my Father's eyes
(Looking through my Father's eyes)

From what I see it looks like you don't like yourself too much
When I hear you talk it sounds like you just feel like giving up
I know it's hard to see through what this world will tell you
'Cause misconceptions and false reflections will never be the truth

Just know I'm not the only one who's ever cried for help
Jesus loves you in ways that you cannot love yourself

He changed my life, I'm changing my mind
He healed all that was broken inside
I'm loving what I can see with His spirit alive in me
I'm finding beauty for the first time
Looking through my Father's eyes

I can see your freedom coming
You'll be a slave to nothing
When you see through my Father's eyes

He changed my life, I'm changing my mind
He healed all that was broken inside
I'm loving what I can see with His spirit alive in me
I'm finding beauty for the first time
Looking through my Father's eyes

I can see your freedom coming (I can see your freedom coming) 
You'll be a slave to nothing (You'll be a slave to nothing)

I'm finding beauty for the first time
Looking through my Father's eyes
(I'm finding beauty for the first time
Looking through my Father's eyes)

Read more: http://muzikum.eu/en/123-12140-150661/holly-starr/through-my-fathers-eyes-lyrics.html#ixzz3FiX2Ccoq


God is indeed alive and I praise Him for all He has done in my life. :)

Journey of my Action Research

Finally the time came for me to present my action research report.
After carrying out the research for a few months, I think it was worth it because at the end I could see the fruits from my hard work.
It was hectic for everyone as we finished our report and presented it.
I am so glad that this hurdle is finally over.
It was truly God's presence with me with Mary's prayer that I overcome my fear of speaking in front of the public.
Here's some pictures:-

(Photoshoot before the real thing began.)

(End of our seminar, it was exhausting but thank God everything went smoothly, picture with our head of language department) Phew!!

Trips to the Islands

After being in Sabah for almost 5 years, finally had the chance to visit the small islands beside it. Although there were obstacles, such as the unpredictable weather, but God is good, when we arrived at the island, the rain stopped and we all had a GREAT time.. After we came back to the mainland, the rain poured like what!!
The water was soooo blue and beautiful.. :) I would never forget those moments...
Being able to go there really made me praise God all the more. It has been hectic for a few months now and this trip was a real good getaway for me to refresh my heart mind and soul....

(on the way to Manukan Island, rough ride as there was slight rain)

(Arrived at Manukan Island, it's beauty was enchanting, how wonderful is God's creation)

(At Sapi Island, thank God the weather improved for the better, had a fun time snorkeling and taking pictures) ignore the mismatch of t-shirt and skirt.. = ='' 

(Memorable picture.. Two silly ladies searching for fishes) 

Well, finally my dream of going to the islands is achieved, thanks to good friends. Thank you Lord for everything, the good weather and everything went on smoothly... 

Things I want to do

There's just so many things I want to do in life. But now I'm afraid there won't be enough time.
With so many things happening in the world today, i think time is very limited and we should really appreciate those around us and start to do the things we want to before it's too late.
So far, I've established my relationship with the Lord, though I'm still new, i just know He is there for me..
Now, there's something that i want so badly that i can't sleep at night just thinking about it..
I want to fall in love.. >_<

I've never been really in love before. By saying 'really' I really mean really. 

Getting older starts to make me scared because I realised that I've never really like anyone before. 

It's a sad thing but it's the truth. 

Luckily I always have a comforter, which is Him, and I just have to trust in His timing.

I'm getting nervous and often times I started to overreact and think too much.

For example, sometimes there's this guy i met, so, he's good and so on, but then even though i don't know a thing about him, my mind would go beserk thinking whether he's the one for me or not. In the end, I was the one getting broken-hearted.

First, he doesn't even realise I exist, and second it's 90% that he has someone already....

Oh... my life~~~

I wonder what does it feel like to fall in love... :) I'm really curious...

I also want to travel the world. It's my final semester and if God's willing i would be posted early next year. I just can't wait for my first pay.. It's been my dream to travel the world. But after a few incidents that happened recently, I think I am afraid to use airplanes. But God is greater.. 

I my me and mine

To survive in today's world, that is what we should all be doing, if not you will definitely find yourself at the bottom of the well.
It's a sad but true fact of life. Even your own friend don't trust you with information that they think will make you better off than them.
I'm fade up with people like that but still I have no choice but to live among them. This is how the world works now.

It's difficult to be the good guy when you want to succeed in life.

However, as a Christian, we should know what to do and follow Christ, our best role model ever!!

I'm always the last person to know when there's something going on. Of course, there are still a few good souls out there and it's thanks to them that I get updated.

That's why now i have to be always alert of things around me and try to ask around. I know it hurts our pride, but we need to survive too. So we just have to bear with it...

Anyway, i guess we need to think of it as a challenge and find ways to overcome it. Maybe He wants us to humble ourselves.
I went through a lot of hardship just in order to learn that He wants me to be humble.
I had a hard time until the day I realised what God has in store for me: Being humble.
Humble is never easy because i never want people to pity me nor use me for their own benefits.
Sometimes, things like this just have to happen. It's just meant to be. I can't really explain why and how but all the prove I have keep pointing to one thing and that is All this while my life has been revolving aroung God's will for me.

I was never happy before because it seems that nothing that i want ever comes true, but i stopped complaining the moment i realised that I was going towards the path that the Lord has set for me. He has given me what i needed for my journey and not what i wanted because all those weren't necessary.

I'm still learning and there's just so many things which i have realised recently and therefore now i will accept things as it is and be assured that this is the Lord's will for me and i will obediently follow Him without questioning Him.
I have been questioning Him for too long now and it's time that I let my faith do the rest.

Favouritism

James 2:1-7

English Standard Version (ESV)

The Sin of Partiality

2 My brothers,[a] show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory.2 For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, 3 and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,” while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,” 4 have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? 5 Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him? 6 But you have dishonored the poor man. Are not the rich the ones who oppress you, and the ones who drag you into court? 7 Are they not the ones who blaspheme the honorable name by which you were called?

I'm not sure if those reading this have ever faced "favouritism" but it's already become a norm in my life. 

Being down is normal, but my spirits immediately raised when I saw this picture, 

We should be very grateful that our Lord does not have any favourites, we are all the same to Him, no matter how GREAT we think we are, no matter how much we contribute to the church, etc. 

Humans, on the other hand, is different. We do not think like God because we are not Him.

Favouritism in my understanding is to favour another person over the other. 

This will always occur to people whom they deem not GOOD enough, not PRETTY enough or not SMART enough. 

I DO want to think that it does not hurt, but in fact, I'm crushed.

I really hate this feeling and at times like this, God seems so far away, it's one thing not able to see Him, but I want to feel Him, the thing is I can't feel anything at all. All I can see around me are lies and deceit. 

I just want to be left alone but it can't be done like that. 

I am in the stage where everything around me is complete darkness and i have no idea where i'm going. I just keep on to the Lord's promise that, if I trust in Him completely, i will never get lost even though i don't know where i am going.

As for now, all i can do is pray.

Nothing is going right for me at the moment. When i look at others, i just feel envious and jealous (exactly THINGS that i don't want to feel). I have failed again and again.

Finance is another problem. Living in the city really takes it toll. I feel like dying sometimes, i can't afford to eat out, and so biscuits and plain water/milo/nescafe are my only choice, it's my breakfast, lunch and dinner.

But still, I am alive, and for that I am grateful to God ( though sometimes i do wish i could leave this wretched world)... 

Lesson behind a blocked ear

Ahh, nothing feels more tortured than to be partially deaf. I am grateful that the Lord blessed me with a healthy body.
I'm currently on a 1 week break and I thought that I wanted to relax but suddenly my ear just had to torture me.. At first, I did what I did best, always trying to solve the problem on my own.
So, my ear only got worse. It started to hurt alot, until I couldn't stand it anymore. So I called my mom and she told me I better go and get it checked by a doctor.
It was then, I prayed. Yup, prayer always seemed the last thing to do only after everything I TRY to do on my own fails.
Here, I realised that I have yet a lot to learn. I always thought I would trust Him to care for me, but instead I always take matters into my own hands and in the end, I am the one getting hurt, then I blame Him for allowing me to get hurt. But in actual fact, it was I who didn't wait for His signal and went my own way.
I don't know about others but I do think that sometimes we tend to make our own decisions.
It was until I fall then I remember that we (humans) can make all the decisions we want but He is the One that approves of everything.
I seem to be repeating the same mistakes over and over again. For me personally it is difficult sometimes to wait on the Lord because there are desperate times that you need immediate answer. But this thought is wrong, because we should know that the Lord will ALWAYS answer our prayer, it's just that His timing is different from ours and what we want is different than what HE wants for us.
In the end, I prayed because I didn't want to hurt my ear anymore and went to the clinic. Now my ear is fully healed.. ^-^
Thank God....
I believe that obedience is very very important, if we are faithful in the Lord, that faith will not be in vain.. It's just the Lord's timing is unpredictable, it comes when you least expect it.. For example, for my ear medication, I was given the medication for free!! I went to the governmental clinic and the fee was supposed to be RM1, but on that day no one charged me at all.. :) I have every reason to praise the Lord God Most High..

Little angel

It's been a while since I've updated this blog. The reason is that I'm currently having my teaching practice and it is just so tiring!
However, today something happened and I really wanted to share it with everyone.
It's about a little boy, a boy from my class. What he did really made me touched and how i wished i had a brother or if i were to have a son in the future, i want to have a son just like him.

His name is Amzi. It was after school and i was carrying out my action research. He came by for a short visit. Suddenly, he asked me for help. Then I realised that his school bag was torn. He asked me to fix the zip back to his school bag because it came out.

I noticed that someone sewed his bag before, so i asked him, expecting it to be his mother, but to my astonishment, he said it was him!!! Bear in mind that this little boy is only in Year 2, already he knows how to sew and repair his bag.

I didn't have to ask him because he told me that it's been awhile since he bought a new school bag because his mom won't allow it, so he did his best to protect his bag from getting torn. I was so touched and trust me, i felt so emotional at that time. I never ever met such a good and caring boy. He doesn't complain that his mother won't let him buy a new bag.


It's so difficult to find such a good boy nowadays...

Angels in our midst?

Do you believe in angels?
Do you think they are among us? Protecting us and covering us from harm and danger?
I can say that I'm in between because i never really encountered a real life experience..
I know there ARE angels among us because I trust that they protect us and keep us safe. We usually call them our Guardian Angels.
Even though I've never met mine before but I'm very thankful because by just knowing my angel is with me I feel much safer. Angels are sent by God to protect us. Cool isn't it? It's like having your very own personal bodyguard.
Lately, I've been thinking about angels again. I don't know why but there's was this incident that happened years ago when i was still quite young but i have a good memory to remember clearly what happened. I didn't know much about angels then but i think i might just had witnessed something that i will never forget as long as i live.
The story began like this:
My sisters were both in the bathroom bathing, since they were still small my parents didn't allow them to lock the door in case they couldn't open it later. So the door was slightly opened. Inside the bathroom there was this mini sink where you could wash your face from. It was old and shaky. My parents did everything they could to keep it steady so that it will not fall off.
As they were having fun splashing water everywhere, i was walking pass the bathroom, suddenly I saw a hand holding on to the sink. Then, BANG!!!
The sink fell and crashed! We all had the shock of our lives! Quickly my parents rushed to the bathroom and asked if my sisters were alright. After getting them out of there safely, a thorough body checkup was being done. Not a single scratch was to be found. Was it possible? The sink was made of porcelain. It was broken into a million pieces, and they weren't hurt at all.
I told my parents that i saw a hand holding the sink, could it be one of them pulled at the sink, that's why it fell off?
But like i said, i was young and no one trusted me. And both my sisters said they weren't anywhere near the sink.
Soon the incident was forgotten. A few years passed then suddenly i just had this thought.
I asked my sisters again and still they had the same answer. So i decided to think back, back where i SAW the hand holding on to the sink.
I realised something, my sisters' hands were small, so it was impossible for their hand to be so big, like the hand i SAW holding on to the sink. The hand was definitely a woman's hand, slender.
I decided to keep quiet about it until i can't stand it anymore. So i brought up the topic to  my mom. She was amazed and told me that it must have been a guardian angel protecting them.
So, all this while i got it wrong, i thought the hand belonged to one of my sisters but actually it wasn't!
I don't know if i consider myself lucky seeing an angel's hand. But God is great and He protected my sisters from getting injured.


Another story just happened last year...
I was on holidays and was spending time at home. It was a windy afternoon. I decided to pick out the dry clothes and fold it. Just then, i saw my dad coming down from the stairs, he was quiet, which seemed unusual to me. So, out of curiosity, i guess, i followed him until the kitchen, but the thing was, when i arrived. there was no one there.
Suddenly, i called out to him and the reply came from the living room, in front! I went back and saw that he was wearing a grey shirt. Funny, because earlier, i saw him wearing an orange-stripe shirt.
I told my dad about it and he shook it off easily ( I didn't tell him about the shirt colour), but i just can't. I thought about it for a long time. Around 5pm, he got ready to go to the park. After changing his clothes, he came down. And this time I got the shock of my life. He was wearing an orange-striped shirt!
Could it be, that i saw my father's guardian angel????
Well, something to ponder about...

Who really knows you

In this whole world, there's only One that knows you in and out, and that is the God Almighty, because He made you.
It's funny how people always think they know you but actually they don't know ANYTHING.

Outside, we can look happy and like there's no worries at all, nothing can ever harm us or no burden is ever too heavy. But have they take a look at what's INSIDE our heart? No. Because they don't have laser eyes or supernatural powers to hear our deepest inner thoughts.

Only God knows. At first I thought, "come on, someone must have gone through what i'm going through now". So i started sharing my feelings and hurt with others, but what did I get in return? More hurt. Nobody really understands us. The most frustrating part is they act ALL KNOWING and pretend to know us.
Urgh, hate it when they are like that.

It helps to know that the Lord knows who we really are.
I'm grateful because at least now i know there's someone who really cares and knows what I'm going through, now some dumbo who thinks he knows everything but actually NOTHING!!

Well, enough with the frustration, I just wanted to share some verses from the BIBLE proving that our God is an ALL KNOWING GOD:

1 John 3:19-20

By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything.

And also HE knows when we hurt inside,

You know how troubled I am; you have kept a record of my 

tears.

 Psalm 56:6 (Good News) 

He even recorded our tears! How cool is that? :-)

Trust, does it really exist?

Oh well, so much for being a new year, there's so much stress already..
I'm currently in my final degree year. There are only 2 subjects but i feel like dying already.
I'm doing action research and i can feel my head almost wanting to explode. :(
I LOVE research.. for fun, but i never thought the real one would be so difficult.
I couldn't sleep and eat well just thinking of the two words: action research...

Anyway,since it's the weekend i decided to give it a rest and cut some slack..
This girl needs a serious break!! >.<

It's been a while since I've thought about this word: Trust

I used to trust people, I used to, but that was all back in those good old days where people dont stab you at the back and use you for their convenience.
Now, i don't even dare to say that word out loud.
I wonder if it even exist anymore.
A few days back i started thinking of that fateful day when someone i was so close to abandoned me, took my for granted. How can i ever put my trust in that person anymore? I believe that was the breaking point for me. Since then, I just simply didn't trust in anyone anymore. I just go on with my life but deep down only God knows how hurt i was, and still am.

I searched the internet for the meaning of this word and it came out like this:

firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

I have been troubled since, so I started reading my faithful book called " Psalms to soothe a woman's heart"
I don't know why but i always feel that when i'm in trouble the book really helps me a lot! It's like magic you know. 
For example, when i'm facing this particular problem, i would just randomly flip to a page. But the amazing thing was the psalm and prayer was exactly what i needed. 

I take it that the Lord works in wonderful and mysterious ways. I don't know what else to think. Well, it's your opinion to judge.. 
Anyway, now my problem is with trust, so here is what i got and i want to share it:

"God guards you from every evil, he guards your very life. He guards you when you leave and when you return, he guards you now, he guards you always." -Psalm 121:7-8 MSG

Prayer: God, you know how difficult and upsetting my situation is. Help me to trust you in and through this. Nothing is impossible for you, and so my heart will rest in your care. Amen

I'm no saint and I can frankly say I could and perhaps am one of the worst sinners in the world. But in my sinful heart, there's this hope that prays for God's mercy to forgive me and that i will be the person he wants me to be.

Belated new year 2014

Happy new year!!! Since its still not yet February so i guess wishing happy new year is still valid ..
2013 was a fun and challenging year.
During the holidays was the most fun part because i get to do the things that i like most, my knitting and crocheting!!!

Below are some pictures of items which i have made.

(My own handmade crocheted pencil case, new year NEW things!!) :D 

(The three little pigs) 

(The little duckling with its puckered mouth) 

(The cute little mouse)

(This is my own pattern, Tigger, which i made for my sister since she requested it, like years ago and only during THIS holiday i had the time to make it for her, just in time for christmas, hence her Christmas gift)

(Miniature hello kitty, for my cousin which is a Hello Kitty maniac fan) hehe

(Rilakuma for my cousin who also happens to like this bear) 

(A sleeping sheep, it was supposed to be a gift to my dad but he said it look too MILD, so I made a goat for him instead, which is his zodiac) 

(This is a pouch that i sold) 

(another pouch in the shape of a duck) 

(This is my family, all the items which i have crocheted all this while, some were not in the picture because my mom already wrapped it, ready to give away) 

( This is the little goat for my dad) ^-^

I also celebrated Christmas at my dad's village in Serian. It was really fun because i got to meet all my cute nephews. It was as if yesterday they were just babies, but look at how big they are now. I guess I just didn't realise i was getting older as well.. Life is short and in no time all of them would be grown up and I'll be an old lady..