Hungry physically and spiritually

I only had instant coffee and biscuits for my dinner, and now my stomach is killing me, so i'm munching on mamee monster. At least my stomach would be quiet for a while.

Actually I planned on sleeping early because i had the symptoms of getting a fever. feel cold and the air is chilly but now i feel a little better.

tomorrow is monday and i really dread it because it's going to class all over again. but the difference is my assignments just keep on increasing and I've got to finish them in such a short period of time. Hunger in the physical is still ok because you can fill your stomach with food. But spiritually? It's not simple as i thought it was. The more you hunger for God, the more the devil will try to stop you by putting trials and temptations. But, we must always stay strong and believe in God's promise.

I just read from the Daily Bread recently and one of the writers wrote, something like this, troubles can either lead to to God or against it. I prayed and my day turned upside down immediately. My rice cooker was confiscated and it was so not my fault because my friend borrowed it and she just put in at the pantry. what a lucky day for the warden to come..

What did you expect me to do? I cursed like hell and promised never to lend anything to her anymore. She didn't even feel sorry at all!!! Not the least bit sorry! How could I not be mad and i was really mad. I straight away went to sleep and when i woke up, I reconsider my anger, I knew it couldn't be avoided. but the question is, has the days incident brought me nearer to God or further from Him? I was ashamed of my actions because i did it based on the heat of the moment. I regretted my action, prayed for forgiveness. That day really taught me a huge lesson. To God or against Him, as simple as that. I really pray for more patience and also today's bible reading was that Solomon asked for wisdom from God and today i ask for God's mercy and forgiveness and also pray for patience and also wisdom in action and in everything i do. Good night all .

Which road to choose??

Have you ever thought of which way you're going when you're at the crossroad of your life? or u just prefer to choose the road that is more exciting, more fun and all the things the world has to offer to you. Well, I guess you better take the better look at the road that you are about to travel.

I've been thinking about what topic to write and after today, I just knew what to write.

Going to the Alpha course for the third round starting from last year has really transformed my life. Each Alpha changed my life in a different way in various perspectives. I learned to know about a God who is so merciful and loving, slow to anger but rich in kindness. I'm born in a Christian family but honestly speaking, I didn't live a Christian life until I went to this Alpha course, it's not to say that I'm a holy person now, I'm doing my best to alter the mistakes I have made in the past.

Anyway back to the topic which is "Which road to choose", the decision we make today affects the life we live tomorrow. It's vital that we make a wise choice. The reason why I want to talk about this is because after going to today's Alpha, which is the first meeting, mentioned about this, which really disturbed my mind because now I'm going through one of those bad times, as you can say it.

The question is, would you choose your own feelings or the promises of God?

My answer: the promises of God, for sure! I don't trust in myself anymore. It's not just difficult, it's impossible. which is why every time I pray, "Lord, I surrender everything to you". I can't do this alone, I can't manage it alone, I'm just simply too tired. Like now, when I'm facing hardship and all, my heart is actually asking me to blame everything on God because He didn't help me when I fell into the ditch. But in the Bible, God promised us all, saying that "I will not forsake you nor abandon you". This promise is great enough to raise me up and face the challenge again.

Which brings us to the main topic again, no matter which road you will choose, remember, do it based on what God has promised us, and NOT on our foolish and naive emotions. I made that decision and it really transformed my life. I know I'm not perfect and I'm still human, which means I still get mad, I still gossip, but one thing for sure, I know God is always there even though sometimes we feel He's not. That's why Jesus told Thomas, "Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believed". Like what I remembered from the Alpha course earlier, God has given us lots of evidence, and we should be thankful because it means our faith is not a blind faith. We believe in One living God. Amen ..

Let's pray together: Lord, I pray that my trust in you will increase as each day passes and despite all the sufferings I'm going through, if it's for You, I'm willing to, because You said, "those who believe in me will live even though they die." ..